New Frontiers and Stress

What, we're drunk(ish)...(what's new, really) we have most of a post done...but we haven't all been able to weigh about how we all feel about The Boyfriend (@mr_jmm/James) becoming our live-in boyfriend. We haven't done this is in over a year...we figured we would never again live with anyone but us, considering all the changes in the last year, our being public with our mental illness, and accepting it, wanting a life as us, destroying The Other Girl, and writing about our life so we can survive (seriously, without this blog...we'd be dead...you don't even know).

He's moving from the UK you know, on Tuesday evening he'll be here...it's a little stressful. We've always been the one to move for someone else, to bend for others...but...other than the logical ways that it can go wrong...what can go wrong? Yeah, everything. Our willingness to try, some mutual love, and ...well...it's gonna work, right? We want to be positive, but...it's hard.

Stress. It's pretty much the theme of the the last 9 months, if not year (yeah, year). We're moving in November, James and us, to live with The Mother...and then there is new stress...but we have to move, we have no choice at this point.

We hope to sleep for days once we unpack and crash in her (The Mothers) basement...again. We know it's a pipe dream to think we can sleep for more than 8 hours...even that is an achievement.

People don't get how much of a failure it makes us feel to be back, pretty much at square one, over 8 years later...moving back in with her, towing a boyfriend behind...again...especially now that we are 32...almost an inverse number from when we last had to do this.

Mental illness is not easy...and we never want the "easy way out"...but we also need a break again...the back pain, the mental struggles...the last year and a half -to- two years...two years...have just been too much. Too much. TOO MUCH.

*sigh*

We hope tomorrow we can all work together to finish the post we have been trying to complete for weeks...but we can't make any promises about that. We just know, that despite the stress, the changes...by 2012...it'll be a completely different and new frontier for us all...James, and us...and we are thankful we have been able to write for almost the last year...because when a lot happens in our life, a lot also gets lost, it's hard for us to sort it our; and we are lost enough most of the time.

~Ivy

We Put In Our Three Weeks Notice

Okay, so we never got the three weeks notice/resignation in...we ran out of time on Friday to bring it to the "boss". We will on Monday though...

So, yesterday, aside from saying goodbye to Fuck Face quite unexpectedly…we also had a hell of a day at work.

About three days ago the one guy we work with in our kitchen station got upset, because when we leaned down to get something out of the fridge by his knee, in the thick of rush service, we put our hand on his side to let him know we were there. He jumped to the side, partially tripped over our kitchen clog, got angry and wore because he thought we were pushing him.

First, anyone who knows how a hotline in a kitchen works when you are getting slammed knows you are moving around very quickly, and it is not unheard of to put your hand on someone to let them know you are there, especially if you need them to move aside and you don’t want to risk any “below the waist touching” on accident. Plus, what could we gain from pushing him in the middle of a rush? Ignorant little twat.

So we could tell something was up because he wasn’t friendly or nice to us for the next two days. Which is fine, because we are leaving in three weeks, and fuck him, he’s a stupid kid; we just want to get our job done, make it through the day and get the fuck away from people.

Then yesterday we were going to put in our three week notice because we have not heard anything about the paperwork/short form they tried to push through last minute and we wanted to make sure we end this job right (because we never have before) in case we make it back to this city with a valid work permit, and want to be employed.  We’re pretty much the master at walking off of a job with no explanation.

But then the sous chef (the sous chef in a kitchen is the one who is right under the chef as far as kitchen management goes) took our station partner to his office while we were cleaning up at the end of service, and following that he took us aside, sitting us down in his “office”, which is just one are of the building where donuts are sold, right off of the kitchen.

The first thing he asked was about us saying something on the hotline.

“Did you look at a bill and say ‘god damn chicken’?” (a “bill” is the receipt/written slip of paper that has the order on it)

He could see the shock and confusion on our face. We, at that point, and still, don’t remember saying it.

“No. Did I say that?”

He responded with a “never mind”.

It’s possible, we figure…but also, if it was our kitchen partner, or someone in the vicinity that “complained” it could have been a misunderstanding and us saying “I’ve got tha chicken”. We remember saying that this week during service, to indicate we were going to put the chicken in. Don’t know how we remember such a small detail…but we do.

Then he asked if we had any pain.

We just stared at him for a moment.

“This is all off the record” he said to us, in his Sri Lanken accent. “I’ve just noticed some days you move in the kitchen like you are having pain.”

So we tell him about our back, share with him brief details, but not excessive amounts, about the car accident, tell him about how one of the instructors in culinary school (one he knows because he had graduated the year before us in school) said we wouldn’t last 10 years in the kitchen. A tear came to our eye when we say “So far it’s been 7 years since the accident”

He agrees that it’s sad; he knows we love cooking, we are good at it. He loves food and cooking just as much.

We continue to talk and he tells us that we are a nice person, and friendly, but sometimes when he looks at us, he sees something…”There is something going on in there” he said to us.

All we think is “crap” and “If you only knew” and then…we’re even more sad. We’ve only been at this job for 5 weeks, we’ve tried to put our head down and work, get the job done…during service we are focused as we can be…but, it comes off as bitchy. And sometimes we bitchy.

He is far too perceptive we suppose…he references mood as we being to talk, asking about anything in our personal life, we explain to him it’s probably the back pain.

Basically he likes us working in the kitchen though; he wishes we were not leaving. He’s just concerned about our back, and also agrees that sometimes that might be why we are short with people, because of all the pain. But we also know that sometimes we are a bitch, even though we try to control that from happening.

He only knows half the story, and it’s okay. We’ll be one from there soon…and we can try again at another job, we suppose.

We discuss other problems in the kitchen, which we site, and he agrees, as communication problems. The meeting ended well, he shared stories about what he had done before culinary school. A nice guy and we are fortunate to have him as a sous chef for the next few weeks.

So, we were stressed even before meeting with Fuck Face for drinks last night, but then that took it to a whole new level.

We told James we don’t think we will ever be able to have a job, all of us, together…and we don’t know how to do about it. We need to find some online work, so we can work where people can’t see our eyes, our face….the thing that gives us all away; it’s impossible for us to hide anymore.

We’re no good with real life situations…and it’s okay, because we prefer the life we have (livesd mostly behind closed doors), if we could only make money to live not working with people…because it’s so difficult, it hurts. We get so many headaches at work these days…and our back literally feels like someone is setting it on fire on a daily basis now.

So, that’s the conclusion of our week. If we were staying at this job we’d probably get fired down the road, that’s clear now…so it’s a good thing we are moving away from this city. We also said goodbye to Special Someone on Thursday, and yesterday Fuck Face told us he loves us, after all this time, and that he always has.

It’s no wonder we drink, and amazing we don’t drink more.

Our Final Goodbye To Fuck Face... Unexpectedly.

We said goodbye, unexpectedly, to Fuck Face tonight…

We had plans to write about our day at work, which was unusually stressful (more to come about that tomorrow), but it looks like we are going to save it due to some unforeseen...something.

In an unusual turn of events…well…what can we say.

First, we had drinks with Fuck Face tonight, turns out it was our last drinks with him. We didn’t expect that. (Don't know who he is? The many stories of him are over there on the left hand side...if you care to know)

Over a glass of wine (several, at this point, for us, of course) and a Guinness (several, for him) he began telling us about his plans for the weekend, yard work, and such...things to do regarding his wife’s horses..and the infamous barn.

“You know, despite the fact all that we are going to do is dance at the grocery later, paint, write, drink wine, and spend the weekend on Twitter…we still live a more interesting life than you. When you’re on your deathbed ,working won’t be what you are thinking about” we snidely we say, we’ve had a couple wines at this point, “Hopefully you’ll be thinking about us”, mostly joking of course.

We were his first, and probably only, affair. We know that to be true, we also know, from previous conversation, it’s us, not just the fact that we were an attractive  female, that had led him astray. Once he had said, last week “There will never be another [The Other Girl].”, when we were discussing things about him seeking some education outside the city, away from his wife, for a couple of months…chiding him about infidelity. So we give him a hard time, about thinking about us on his death bed.

A shadow passes over his face. He is silent. He leans back in his chair. We can tell he has had a bit more to drink than he should. We’ve never seen him this candid looking. He reaches for our hand with a serious look on his face.

He pulls his hand back.

“I’m not going to spill the beans” he says, and starts to divert the conversation.

“The Beans” being something he referenced the first and second drinking “dates” ago (last week)…regarding our getting fired. We had tried to get him to tell us then, but to no avail.

“Take another drink of your beer” we say, nodding our head towards his beer. We know that with another drink he might tell us what he’s been referencing for the last couple drinking sessions. We want to know, we have no idea what his secret is.

He begins talking again, about something random…we don’t know what, and then all of a sudden he stops, leans in, looking seriously and blurts “I love you”. This look on his face, we’ve never seen it before. We know he’s telling the truth.

We…stare at him…our eyes well up…there are many things going on in our head. With tears spilling onto our cheeks we give him "the finger". 

“Fuck you, I hate you, you suck”, we say.

He spilled the beans. We are angry, confused, and sad...those are not the beans most of us are expecting.

“Fuck you and your timing” we say. 

More tears.

The next 20 minutes are him admitting how he’s felt about us from the very begging, even before our affair, and that the week we got fired how he felt, us not being there, going to our office for something and…just…being sad we were no longer there, (because we had gotten fired) which makes us understand how happy he was when he got fired.

Him saying how his marriage has improved since telling his wife about the affair, but he says he still wakes up in the morning and watches out tweets while we ride the bus to work. He reads our blog, he reads James blog. While he plays video games…our Twitter feed is there. He thinks about us always. Thinks about us and tries to erase the feelings, kill us, metaphorically, while he digs fence posts for his wife’s horses.

He loves us. Just as we always thought. Thank god we were not off base. But he agrees, as do we…there are four people involved now. He says he wouldn’t try anything, he doesn’t want to do that to his wife again.

He read our blog entry from last night, and he had hoped tonight’s drinks would be us “breaking up with him”…our final drinks,  as last night was our “goodbye” to Special Someone, now that James is coming into town to live with us.

We sit and talk…he says he wanted to come tonight and ask us to run off to Cuba, only half jokingly. We are stunned, laughing, and then crying, confused, but relieved that we had been right.

He tells us how James is good for us, and that he doesn’t want to hurt James (they actually met once). 

He tells us “In another life…” then he pauses…and talks about how it never would have really worked because of one of us (Bethany) and that he only wanted to deal with us as one, as Frank. We tell him that he’s dealt with all of us. He says he realizes that, and has noticed the differences in each of us, but still…

We cry, and cry…covering our mouth, alternating between laughing because he is trying to make us laugh, and crying because he tells us we are gorgeous, and amazing, and funny, and interesting…and that had he been single, almost the first day we had started working where he worked, he would have asked us out that day.

“Wow. I really hate our life”…just one of the things that come from our mouth, because sometimes the irony is far too painful, as we listen to him talk about the first time he laid eyes on us and called us “Wonder Woman” to our face…and how he says he had loved us from the beginning, and how the last week or so, after we got fired…was the worst days of employment he has ever had; how he hoped each time he had asked us for drinks since we had gotten fired he wished we had said no…and other things too much to write about, involving throwing rocks at our window…and…

We know he is telling the truth. Several of the men on Twitter, our followers, married ones who had had affairs before, who were reading the story as it unfolded, back in the day, told us “He loves you, he is confused”. 

They were right. Men know men, we guess; and clearly we do not. (but we do, they just have to be honest...and then we know we are right.)

We stood in the parking lot this evening, outside of our apartment, in front of his new motorcycle…he wouldn’t let us hug him goodbye…but we did anyway. 

We're talking, and crying a bit, and he is staring at us, with pain in his eyes, and finally he asked us, almost pleaded, that we just walk away…He was sad, we were sad. He was our friend, more than anyone can understand, if only because we have not written about the rest of the impact he had on us, and how he helped us, this year…with us. We will write about it someday...it's disturbing, and dark...and everything that Fantastic was to us in those days.

It’s bittersweet…it all is. This year has been…fucked up…we still haven’t written everything about our relationship with him…we will. We’re two years away in the writing of our life. When we get to that part, those days with Fantastic New Addition/The Jean/Fuck Face…the things we didn’t and couldn’t write about at the time, why he was so important…you’ll all understand more.

For now, we sob…because…well…life is never what you expect…people are…confusing. We had a shitty couple days at work…we’ve had a shitty couple of days in general, now, saying goodbye to friends is hard…and we haven’t even gotten to say the goodbyes to Girl Crush and Fabulous People (our female friends); they will be just as difficult, but in a different way.

For now, the rest of what we know about tonight, we are keeping within us. Rest assured, there was no betrayal of any kind. James is important, many of us love him…and as someone we truly love, we could never betray him, and his love…that’s not how we roll.

[Dear Fuck Face...as you knew we had to tell James...you also knew we had to write your final chapter...you know we will miss you...you know.]

Our Final Goodbye To Special Someone

Tonight we said goodbye to a friend, and a former lover, someone who we had been mentioned in two of our blog posts, and James in at least one of his.

Special Someone. While his identity must remain a 100% secret, we can tell you that he is one of our followers on Twitter, and he reads our blogs.  We met him on Twitter and had only said a few words to each other here and there, then one day while we were live tweeting a stalking of Fuck Face…he began DMing us a lot, and it progressed from sharing that he had many the same thoughts about people and society, to saying it would be fun to have us stalk him. We obliged, of course, because it was a fun thing to try…we only knew what he looked like vaguely from his avi, but we knew he was attractive; and then one day we figured out where he worked. He didn't know what we looked like exactly but when we passed him on the sidewalk the first time our stalking "hit the target", we both knew it was each other. We’ll always remember one of the first things he e-mailed to us after that, that of course we were "way out of [his[ league", but we knew we weren't. We had been talking to him for weeks, we’d gotten to know a lot about him, and we knew he was a kind, broken soul...and he also a hottie, he just couldn't admit it.

We met Special Someone in real life (though he’d been our follower for some time) about the exact same time we met James on Twitter (May of this year). Most of our time spent with Special Someone where fleeting moments in a special location after he was done with work, talking and kissing; a couple of make-out sessions in our office at work; a few walks; and a couple of evenings laying in the grass in a local park, talking about life, laughing and just being together. Only once did we ever share an evening with him, and wake up in his arms.

A couple of us where in love with him, and despite the fact we met him and James around the same time, and he knew all about James, James knew nothing about him until our State of the Union entry, written right before he was to arrive in our city in July to spend a month with us. James was upset, and we knew he had a right to be, even though we were not dating at that point; but at least we were honest with him. We only saw Special Someone for a short bit of time, once, while James was here (James actually mentioned him in a couple of his blog entries).

Tonight was only the second time we’ve seen Special Someone since right before we got fired from our job at the end of July. He is a beautiful man, who fell in love with us, and a couple of us with him; however due to many things in his life he was not able to have a relationship with us. Read that how you want. 

After about 20 minutes of talking in our usual spot, laughing sadly, him asking us about our plans, our big adventur; and after several long tearful hugs, because we had all come to the conclusion that this would be our last goodbye, he confirmed the feelings we suspected he had had for us, that he had made clear to us, without saying the words out loud, many times. As he pressed the elevator button, looking at us for the last time with his beautiful eyes…he told us that we had guessed right, about how he felt. With tears gently spilling over our cheeks, we told him we were sorry if any of us had hurt his feelings by making the decision(s) we did.

“I’m just glad we had time together” he said, the sad look in his eyes.

As he stepped into the elevator and turned back to us, we blew him a tearful kiss goodbye and waved.

"Take care of yourself” he said. We nodded our head...and he was gone.

We walked home, thinking about the times we had spent with him, when we met him, the giddiness some of us had felt, and all the other feelings in between we had shared about him, we cried and sipped our wine. 

The air has grown chilly in our city, so we wore different clothes than we usually would have – nothing like our summer dresses, but we know that's how he will remember some of us; and as we passed the fountain we played in several time this past summer, wine in one hand, Twitter in the other, we noticed the water had been drained…looking around the city, some of the trees are actually changing. Fall is upon us. Change is here.  James will be here on Tuesday, we will start a new life, all of us, finally...all of us...together...for the first time in our life.

We cried and lamented about the summer we had, about how far we have come, how far we have to go….this year had been something else, this year had been something else…and it’s not even over yet.

We’ll miss you, Special Someone. The poem that was started for you will be finished someday; the ending and tone will just be a little different, but the sentiment the same. We will never forget you, friend.

~Cassandra, Catherine, Emmie & Frank

'An Emotional Night For Us All' - James' Blog Post

We're going to try to get to writing tonight; James just published a new blog over on his blog site (not this post, however), all about how we booked his tickets back on Monday, because *gulp* he's coming to live with us now...(someone should start praying for him, or, you know, sacrificing a goat or something)...and so we need to catch up to our "relationship" entries...something like that.

We had planned on doing a "State of the Union" after he left three weeks ago, like the one we did about him coming to visit, but we've been stressed with having to plan to move out of the city where we live, and figuring out how to sell our house, because of some very unforeseen circumstances, which we've written about (but currently, we don't feel like back linking, so check out the posts from the last week and a half, or so, to find out why we have to move, and what we plan to do after that). If life ever settled down then maybe we'd get a better glimpse of this "boredom" we hear people talk about so much...but probably not.

Having just gotten off the phone with our tenants, a screaming match was had, to be sure, we need to have some wine and sort ourselves out before we can even think about writing for tonight. Stress stress stress *mumbles to self*.

The following entry is imported from James' blog (link to his blog is at the bottom of the entry), also at the bottom of this entry you will find several other titles of entries, both ones written while he was here staying with us for a month, and since he has returned home. All of the links are internal, so don't be afraid to click them, they'll just take you to other pages within this site.
------------------------------
Friday 9th September 2011

This post is about a video chat I had with Frankie and a response to a Tumblr post they wrote about their day. I'm not linking to their post just yet as I want to write about the time we spent on GTalk Video first.

I had a friend over this evening and they were out drinking with one of theirs (the infamous [Fuck Face]) so our chat was later than normal. It started off very well, they (both Frank et al and the chat sessions) have been stressed recently but today seemed to be a good one, helped by the fact that I had a bottle of wine. We haven't drank together like this since our first ever chat.
But then, very suddenly, their mood changed whilst they were trying to write their blog post for the day. They looked upset, confused, almost angry. I asked them if they were ok, all too aware that this question, asked when they're upset, is often met with some hostility. They tell me they have had a hard day at work having to fight to maintain who was there at work in order for them to get the work done. As the chat goes on they are switching every few minutes. I've never seen them switch this quickly and so often before, I'm not sure who is there or how many are switching. They bounce from being close to tears to being almost happy in the blink of an eye but each time they are upset longer and happier for shorter periods until it seems as though the switching has stopped and they are desperately upset, confused, hurting and angry. They won't talk to me. They may have stopped switching but there is clearly a massive conflict going on in their head. At one point they say they have to go, they'll call me back later. The look on their face was of anger and dislike. So much I think that Brooke is there. There was no tears, no upset, no apologies, nothing but the desire to stop talking to me. In the past this has been to protect me from someone and / or from seeing them upset; I didn't get that impression tonight but I could be wrong, it could well have been just the inner fight that made it seem this way.

They call me back and they are upset. The rest of the chat consists of them writing a tumblr post and chatting to people on twitter. They still don't seem to want to talk to me but the fact they called me back and are comfortable with me just being there is comforting.
They say, as they always do, as we always do, that they want me there as soon as possible. They say they are going to book the flight the flight tonight but the prices have gone up and trying to adjust the days to get the price as low as possible is upsetting them and confusing them. I offer to do the looking and so I do. Then they say they want to leave it till Monday and I can't help but feel a little hurt by that but I understand, it's to much for them tonight. I carry on looking but don't tell them.
I have to say that whilst I say they don't seem to want to talk to me they do repeat that they just want me there with them and of course I want to be there with them too. I hate seeing them like this and not being able to comfort them. They don't always like me comforting them when they are upset but at least I can be there.

They are tired too and one of them wants to go to bed; eat pizza and go to bed but the others are saying to them that it's too early.

I am positive I know who I'm with now but I read their Tumblr post and it is signed by someone else. I'm confused and a little upset again. The person that signed it, Catherine, used to tell me she loves me but tonight she hasn't and in the Tumblr post says "I wish I could love him". I ask them about this but they get more upset and stay quiet.

They won't talk to me and so I break one of my own rules, I read their timeline as I know they're talking to people on twitter. Sometimes it's the only way I know what's going on is to look at their timeline. But there's a good reason I avoid this. And tonight's reminder of what that reason is kicked me the head, stabbed me in the heart and stamped on it. I get up, I leave the room, I take the advice form my counsellor and "release", in this case I air box for a few minutes. When I come back they ask where I have been and ask if they are upsetting me. I say no, it's not them. Maybe not a completely honest answer but a lot of it is my issues, I shouldn't get upset by what they say to others but when I'm here telling them I wish I could put my arms around them and they ignore me then tell someone on twitter they want to be in their arms... well excuse fucking me if I need to kick shit out of something.

But I read their Tumblr post again and one sentence that I read over and over again makes me feel better. I love them so much. I get upset and I allow silly things to hurt me but it's because I'm so far away and I miss them so much.

I've mentioned it too many times without so much as link so here is their Tumblr post for tonight, about tonight. You'll notice something about the sign off.

When we’re from the outside looking in, from the outside.

We’re doing too (to?) much switching, and not getting drunk enough to deal with it, no matter how much we drink; just repeated headaches, and crying, and making our boyfriend upset, in so many ways…logging off of video chat with him, and then logging back on…nobody wishes they were him, at least you shouldn’t; he probably wishes he wasn’t tonight, and he’s the bravest man we know. I wish I loved him, but many of us do, and that’s usually enough…it should be. He is very patient though.

Don’t know what switching means? Read our blogs. Don’t care to to do that? Then don’t, and it doesn’t matter…this Tumblr post is for us, and the people who know us, and do care…we’re sorry we’re not funny tonight, we know we never have to apologize…but sometimes we feel the need. Sometimes we’re a #sadclown…like in our recent painting.

It’s too a hard. This week is too hard, life is too hard.

We/I hope to sleep until Sunday…knowing us, and our inability to sleep (most of us don’t let me sleep as much as I sometimes want), we’ll get 8 whole hours…an unprecedented amount for us (we don’t get to nap unless we’re sick either); I’ll probably just want to lay in bed until we sleep again tomorrow night, but one of us won’t let that happen, if they’re in charge, and I hope they are…I don’t want to be here. Then again we have an appoitnment tomorrow, someone is viewing the house we are selling. I hope we remember…

Sometimes we hate us, as we’re sure others do.

If you’re confused, be unconfused…I’m in no mood to explain. Sorry.
I’ll be going to bed now…so, goodnight, lovely followers…we’ll try to do better tomorrow. Sweet dreams.

~Cassandra (part of Frank et al…for those of you who don’t know me, or the rest of us)

First, I want to reply:
Cassandra, I love you. I know you can't say it back but it's OK. I know you care so much about me, I know you miss me and you want me there with you. I know how much you do for me and for them and I love you for all of that. Nothing will ever make me stop loving you or make me not want to be with you. I have never had doubts about that and I don't now. I certainly don't wish I was someone else, only that I am me, James, your boyfriend, the man that loves you, you all, the man that won't leave you or stop loving you. Stay strong for me Cassandra. Please don't hate yourself. There are horrible people on twitter but what they think really doesn't matter. Many more people love you, all, very much.
To you all: I know how hard things can be for you sometimes, I know how much pain you are in and how much that upsets you, I know you can't always tell me what's going on, I know you don't always know. I know today was so hard for you and you were struggling to cope with it all.
Please don't feel bad for me getting upset. I know you just want me to be with you now, I do too baby, so much and I will be there very very soon. I love you all so much. You are wonderful, amazing and beautiful, to me, to others, for others, and for yourselves. Never doubt it, never let others tell you different (I know that's not an easy thing to do for you).

Back to the post - You see their Tumblr post is signed by Cassandra, they don't know why it was originally signed by Catherine. I have mixed emotions now, I'm happy that my thoughts of Catherine not loving any more may be laid to rest but feel so sad for Cassandra.
The night ended early, they took the laptop to bed and I read them stories till they fell asleep.

I try so hard to be happy for them, they need me to be for me and for them. It's so hard to sit here and see them so upset, in so much pain feeling so helpless. There are things about last night (at the time of writing it's Saturday 10th September) that still bug me. A lot of things I can dismiss, last night was just too personal, too much emotion. I'll get over it. I have to. They love me and I love them and really, what else matters?

[copied from the original location http://frank-from-the-outside.blogspot.com/ - he says he edited since we carried it over to here]

Some of the other stuff he's written about us

• 'I Meet Cassandra And It Doesn't Go Well'
  
• 'A Rough Night, Not The Good Kind'
• 'Who's Here Today'
• ''I Talk to Cassandra''
• ''Nine of Nine''
• ''Meet Catherine, Not Bethany''
• 'Today Was A Good Day'
• 'They Are One'
• 'They Are Nine'