kelemahan plus few funny things

ok. kte ckp ttg kelemahan dlu ek? ahah... tulis post ni secara spontan. ade bnde jd td, n 'pap' terus on blog. aqilah... owh aqilah. nape fragile sgt? tak. mane ade fragile sgt. sy dah ckup kuat utk pendam semua bnde sorang. cuma kdng kala, 'kerana nila setitik rosak susu sebelanga'

lately. kalau mengalir setitik dua air mata, trust me, it's only because pk ttg salah2 lepas + study je. study, yeah, some times pressure dgn assignment, final project, and so on. tp, sy x cpt gelabah. kalau muka tegang, sekejap je. lepas tu, gelak ketawa mcm biase. nak x nak, life goes on.

1 bnde. yg sy tataw sape je yg taw. yes sy lupe sape yg taw. sy maybe akan share bnyk bnde dgn bnyk org, tp jgn lupe jgk, sy jgk simpan bnyk bnde dgn bnyk org. kenapa sy blh tahan org buat itu ini? maafkan, kwn mcm biasa pdhal org lain, kwn2 rapat terutamanya memaki hamun org yg sy maafkan itu? kenapa sy menangis di wkt sy x

perlu? 1 - pendam.

owh ye. talking bout such a crying bby. 1 thing u ppl should know. menangis tu x semestinye sedeyh. menangis tu x semestinye kecewa. sy? kalau sy terlalu marah, sy menangis. esp bila sy x mampu nak mrh org yg buat sy mrh tu. maka, sy menangis. bila sy rndu sgt seseorg / memori, sy xkan bgtaw org tu terus, tahan selagi sy mampu, tp sy menangis jgk sbb terlalu rndu. menangis. x semestinya lemah. tak cukup kuat kalau manusia tu pendam semua bnda duka, amarah, menyedihkan dan luahkan dgn menangis seorg. x cukup kuat lg? dont judge ppl with the simplest thing like this.

sy. dlu. dlu lepas spm mmg sy hari2 menangis. sbb, kesunyian yg teramat, rase kehilangan teramat. tp kehilangan itu yg ajar sy ttg hidup. tp itu dlu. sy dah 20 kini. jgn samekan sy dgn budak manja asyik nangis tu lagi. bodoh la kalau judge sy mcm tu lg! i'm not that spoiled. jgn ingt bnde yg sdeyh skit je, akan buat sy nangis. kirim salam.

bila sy pendam. dan pendam. dr bnda sekecik - kecik alam. hingga ke sebesar - besar alam, 1 hari. ia akan meletup. meletup dgn bnda kecil je. yer baru 20 hari sy tinggalkan TTM. tp ingt, sy hanya menangis pd 15th oct 2009. sikit pun sy x menangis lepas tu utk hari ke-2 hingga hari ni. sdngkan ingt senang utk lupekan mcm mane akrabnye? setahun. selalu jmpa. mcm2 kenangan. buat sy gelak. sdeyh. hurm... bnda x elok sy x ingt. bnda yg manis tu sy simpan.

sy blh pendam sume bnde x best. blh. tp, kdg2 sy akan explode jgk. sy akan sdeyh jgk. bnde kecik je blh jd penyebab die. then habis sume bnde sdeyh yg sy simpan, memori pe sume, dtg satu - persatu mcm wyng gmbr yg tak pernah habis. hoho... then mula lah air mata jd cam air terjun. yesss, sy camtuh. jd kalau nnt 1 hari. TERnmpk sy nangis x henti2 utk bnde yg kecik, percayelah, bkn bnde kecik tu yg buat sy nangis. tp sbb sy ingt habis SEMUA bnde yg sy simpan tuh. jd, mcm kumpulan air mata lame tuh terus turun mebuak - buak time tu. hoho... XD

tp alhamdulilah. dah lame sgt3 sy x nangis camtu. eh menipu. ha last yg time lepaskan TTM tu la. b4 that n after that, so far, x de. sykur jgklah hati makin kering. 1 other thing we should remember, mark in ur mind, when there's no one left who can save u from breaking apart, save urself. take a very3 good care of ur heart. u have to. well, yup, td just menitis 2 titik air mate, so lahirlah post nih. sbb ape? sbb sy ni cpt syg org. syg org sebagai sesame makhluk tuhan ye.

ok. we talked bout all the funny things. tp tataw la kalo org lain rase x lawak.

sy kan mmg ske ketaweee kan. so. bnde kecik pon. jd lawak.

lawak 1 - raya pertama 2009. oleh ; mama ngah

mama ngah ; eh. elok2 skit. dlm kereta mama tu bnyk 'pingat'.

me ; pingat ape?

mama ngah ; eh. bukan pingat. 'pengat'!

faris ; pengat pisang mane plak ni?

me ; mama ngah. pijat eh? wahahahahhaha.

mama ngah ; haaaaaa. pijat~

lawak 2 - few weeks ago. oleh ; teh + mama ngah

di madam lim's jj wkt nak order mknan.

teh ; adik. ayam goreng ni 3 'pisis' eh?

me ; haaaa..? [muka blur2]

kma ; mama. 3 pieces lah.

me ; wahahaha. teh. nape x ckp 3 spesies je?

kma + me ; whahahhaah... [kuat gile weyhhh]

mama ngah ; eh. takde ke 'sel' ke?

me ; sel ape mama ngah?

mama ngah ; sel lah. dkt jj ni. x de ke?

kma ; sale eh mama ngah?

mama ngah ; haa... sale. salah ckp.

me + kma ; ngee.. bahaahhaah... ade2! [pegang perut]

lawak 3 - few weeks ago. oleh ; aisyah

dlm kereta. mulot duk cot cet sane sini. x reti diam.

aisyah ; kak qila. kak qila taw x. hari tu acik kan. die bwk kete laju.

me ; pastuh?

aisyah ; nak langgar pokok dah.

me ; ye ke kma? [sambil pndng kma tgh drive]

aisyah ; ye kak qila. pastu acik 'break terkejut' habis aisyah ngan mama semua 'mengejut'

me + kma ; HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. terbalik la aisyah!

aisyah ; hari tu kak cik nak langgar pokok lg.

me ; pastuhhh?

aisyah ; pastuhh nasib baik pokok tu 'mengelak'

me ; BAHAHAHAHHAA... takotnye pokok tu dgn acik. sampai blh lari mengelak.

kma ; wahahahah.. .terbalik lg la syg.

To Mr. Tenggiling. hurm.. 'i dont judge ppl. only god judge ppl. and i dont wanna play god.'

aku tibe2 speaking an dgn ko dr td lelklok BM? sorry. tu tande aku mrh / trase.

tp. mcm aku penah ckp. aku x reti nak mrh lelame. n aku x reti nak majuk.

so. ko xyahlah tkot pape. just. kdng2 penat la weyh... sbb. itulah. ade masenye.

aku fragile. tu je. i know i'm complicated. give up, if ko x sanggup. sorry.

p/s ; semlm and kelmarin mimpi mengarut.

safwa. if only u reas this. i dream bout u last nite.

that we met. and, yar, we met face2face.

kelmarin. mimpi. afiq. akid. ainaa K. whoaaa.

ainaa majuk dgn 3 org ni. [including me.]

jd sy, afiq, akid, shopping mcm2 utk die.

tah. ngarot2. belaka. wahaha XD

Last pics from Hawaii

We got behind on our blog, but we wanted to share some of the last pictures from Hawaii with you...

This is our hotel...great location!

the lobby

Cute shot before I joined them in the elevator

In the corridor to our rooms...always picturesque every time we passed by

Looking down from our balcony

Across the street from our hotel....you could rent "toys" from him....snorkels, boards, etc.

Diamondhead ~ this was the view from our front door

Trying for a group shot in the sunset....some of them turned out, others not so good.....

We can't even remember what was going on for this shot....it was taken soon after we saw a gang of young locals fighting....seriously fighting, punching, pulling hair....it was awful!

Submarine on the left

I loved seeing this boat out there....and the color of the water!

Yes, I got a little carried away with the sunset pictures, but I couldn't help myself. It was a beautiful evening and I wanted to somehow capture it for myself and to share with others.

Coconut tree...this is becoming a regular signature shot for me. When I look at a tree I just have to put the camera on the trunk and click.

Every single day was perfect for the week that we spent in Hawaii. We loved visiting old places that brought back forgotten whispers of thirty years ago. We enjoyed experiencing an island culture very different from our landlocked lives. But most of all, we appreciated connecting with our grandfather, and hearing stories of his life as he became a precious part of ours. We miss you, Grandpa Phil. Thank you for everything!!! We love you.
Aloha~ Sage and Tera

No gym, no workout? Psh!

It was an absolutely gorgeous day in Oklahoma yesterday – 72 and sunny! I was looking for something new to do for exercise to get a break from running…so, I headed to the local high school football stadium. Let’s just say, I kicked my own butt!

I started my workout with stadium stairs…running…up and down, up and down. And let’s just say high school football in the south is a big thing, so this is no small stadium stair feat. I next moved on to suicides. While I’ve done suicides on hockey rinks, the football field is a whole new beast (I later calculated that the football suicide is 0.625 miles!). After my suicide, I moved on to crunches and a pyramid of push-ups (10..rest..9..rest…8…rest…you get it). Water break and repeat.

Today, my calves feel like bricks. Luckily, my home nor work place require me to go down stairs…but I’m sure that would be far from pleasant as walking is painful enough. Let’s just say that 1) working out sans a gym is completely possible, 2) workouts outside a gym can be more difficult than workouts inside the gym, and 3) when you can FEEL lactic acid building in your muscles as you perform your workout, chances are you’re gunna be sore and you’re getting one CHALLENGING workout.

This morning I copied the breakfast of Meredith, writer of Pursuing Balance, and added fresh MANGO (mmm!) to my steel cut oats! I used a packet of PureVia and a sprinkle of cinnamon. 

It was VERY good! Though, I have to say, I’m not convinced that steel cut oats increase satiety. While I did have an early breakfast (6am), I was hungry by 10:30am…at which time I had…

…a Pumpkin Muffin I made last night with Southaven Farms’ Ginger Spice mix. They are sooo good, and SUPER easy! Don’t they look delicious?!

And I had my little helper for dish duty...

And on a random note, the Natural Twist Zevia is officially my favorite flavor. It has a bit of a citrus bitterness to it that I just love. Mmm!

P.S. Vita Top Promo! Get 6 FREE Deep Chocolate Vita Tops with the purchase of a 24-pack of Vitas. Enter coupon code EFBYY7Q9 at checkout to take advantage! Yumm! I LOVE Vita Tops!

Books, Southeast Asian food and what not to say at dinner

November 2

I went to some good parties last week, including two book parties.

I don’t go to book parties much, because we don’t have much use for cookbooks at NRN — occasionally we can use art from them, but that’s about it — and I personally like to cook based on what’s on hand. If I have questions about specific technique I just grab my battered copy of The Joy of Cooking.

But on Wednesday, after going to the see-and-be-seen party at The Four Seasons to welcome its new chef, Fabio Trabocchi (the most interesting person I met was a writer and publicist with the unlikely name of Paxton Quigley, author of Armed and Female, a self-help book instructing women how to use guns to protect themselves), I went to the East Village for the launch of the Veselka cookbook. So I went from really lovely Champagne and foie gras and truffles to cheap red wine and pierogis, but I like pierogis and haven’t met many wines I can’t drink (I do remember one, boasting that it was made from 100 percent grapes! that was kind of hard to get down). So I chowed down on pierogies and borscht and meatballs and ran into my old colleague Craig Waters (his byline is C. Dickinson Waters, in case you want to look for it), who now works on the business end of Macmillan, which published the Veselka book.

Then yesterday I went to a packed event celebrating Marcus Samuelsson’s new book, New American Table. The party was sponsored and thrown by HSBC bank, which I remember from back when it went by its full name, Hongkong Shanghai Banking Corporation. Now, of course, it’s going for more universal appeal.

A lot of bankers were at the party, including a nice one with whom I spoke about travel to Southeast Asia. But some chefs were there, too, including Alfred Portale from Gotham Bar & Grill and Nils Noren from the French Culinary Institute, who for many years was Marcus' executive chef at Aquavit. Anita Lo, of the once and perhaps future Annisa and the current Rickshaw Dumpling Bar, was there, too, and I had a long chat with chef, consultant, writer, etc. Robert Danhi, who moderated a panel I was on a couple of years ago at the National Restaurant Show. It was about Asian food trends. Robert, who's based in Southern California, is married to a Malaysian woman and travels back and forth to Southeast Asia a lot. So we talked about his love for durian, my inability to appreciate it so far, the joy of a good mangosteen, and other things.

Marcus came by and ripped off my nametag in disgust, wondering why a bank would make us wear such things. He did it in a really friendly way, though. Marcus is good people.

I wasn’t so sure about people I’d met earlier in the week. At one dinner I sat next to a woman who expressed shock and almost disgust that I would admit to liking science fiction. She liked realistic things, she said, because she was a Virgo. I asked her, then, about her belief in astrology, and she readily acknowledged the contradiction, so maybe she wasn’t so bad. But still, who at a civilized dinner would show disgust for someone else’s taste? It’s not nice.

But speaking of Robert Danhi, I did have good Southeast Asian food at the Beard House last week, where Mohan Ismail, the chef of Rock Sugar, was cooking.

Rock Sugar’s a Southeast Asian restaurant in Los Angeles that’s the little brother of Cheesecake Factory. Ismail, who’s originally from Singapore — click here if you’d like to read a whole profile and interview of the guy, written by my colleague Lisa Jennings — but the salient point for this story is that he was on the opening team of Spice Market in New York’s Meatpacking District, and so was Pichet Ong, who was also at the Beard House, helping Mohan.

Pichet told me a little about his new dessert shop that’s opening soon on St. Mark's Place. He said it would be a masculine dessert shop, rather than all the frilly and feminine ones that are out there.

He said the only other masculine dessert place in town was Max Brenner’s, but Pichet’s consulting with Max these days, so he’s biased.

What I ate at the Beard House:

Hors d’oeuvre:

Crispy imperial rolls with pork, shrimp and shiitake mushrooms
Raw hamachi with sesame and tobiko
Crispy chicken samosas with cilantro yogurt
Stuffed naan with spicy ketchup
Champagne Nicolas Feuillatte Brut Rosé NV

Dinner:

Green mango and papaya salad with crushed peanuts and crispy shallots
Cloudy Bay Sauvignon Blanc 2006

Indonesian-grilled cilantro shrimp with corn, sweet potatoes, peas, coconut milk and chiles
L’Aventure Rousanne 2007

Tai snapper with gai lan, shiitakes, and padifield sauce (a rich chile sauce reminiscent of many chile sauces that top whole in Thailand, although this fish was filleted)
Side dishes for the table: Coconut rice with lemon grass, pandan leaves and cashews, and nonya sambal eggplant with sweet soy and chiles (“Nonya” is a Malaysian word for “grandmother” and also refers to the Peranakan cuisine of what are known as the Straits Chinese of Peninsular Malaysia, and Singapore, who are the descendants mostly of Chinese immigrant men who were imported by the British to work in the tin mines and married Malay women; the food is those women’s attempts to make Chinese food, which naturally included incorporating local ingredients, techniques and sensibilities).
Robert Sinskey Vineyards Los Carneros Napa Valley Merlot 2005

Singapore black pepper filet mignon with asparagus and shiitakes (you might think of shiitakes as Japanese — I know I do — but I once visited a shiitake farm in Malaysia’s Cameron Highlands)
Roth Cabernet Estate Bottled Sauvignon 2006

Caramelized banana custard cake with milk chocolate ice cream, malted crème Anglaise and praline nut brittle
Saracco Moscato d’Asti 2007

Duck Cassoulet

    

  

Yesterday was a rainy Sunday in November.  The first without daylight savings time, the skies were already dark from the rain before night fell at its Winter early hour.  Such is a day for me to make a hardy dish to comfort and fortify.  Sundays also allow for a little more time to do something special.  So, I chose to make for the first time a Duck Cassoulet.  Duck, two kinds of sausage, beef broth, duck fat soaked bread crumbs, there is little more comforting.  Some decry foie gras or truffle as decadent, I say give me sausage browned in duck fat! 

For the recipe, I first looked up James Peterson's in Glorious French Food, his 742 page tome, but that was too involved for me.  Even I have my limits and cooking with pig's feet is on the other side.  Instead, I found this recipe for Easy Cassoulet in The Gourmet Cookbook.  For the sausage, I recommend using a breakfast sausage.  Sweet Italian sausage will have fennel, and Hot Italian sausage will be too spicey.  The recipe recommends using a Kielbasa if necessary.  I had half a pound left over from another recipe, which I threw in, but I wouldn't recommend overdoing it to prevent the smoked kielbasa flavor from overwhelming the other flavors.  Rich, soul warming, and relatively straight forward to make.  Paired with a Pinot Noir it was wonderful and I recommend it for you.

Ingredients:

3/4 lb great northern beans

6 cups cold water
2 cups beef stock
1 tbsp tomato paste
1 large chooped onion
3 tbsp chopped garlic
1 bouquet garni
1 14 oz. can diced tomates
2 duck legs
1 lb cooked pork sausage
2 cups bread crumbs
1/2 cup chopped parsely
1 1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper

Directions:
Soak beans overnight, or put beans in a pot and cover with cold water by 2 inches. Bring to a boil and boil for 2 minutes, remove from heat and let beans soak, covered, for 1 hour, drain.
Preheat oven to 350. Transfer beans to a 6 or 8 quart pot, add cold water, stock, tomato paste, onions, and 2 tbsp garlic, and bring to a boil. Add bouquet garni, reduce heat and simmer, uncovered, 45 minutes.
Meanwhile, remove the skin and fat from duck legs. Cut skin and fat into 1/2 inch pieces. Separate duck meat from bones. Transfer meat to a bowl and add bones to simmering beans.
Combine duck skin and fat with 1/4 cup cold water in a 10-inch heavy skillet and cook, stirring, over moderate heat until water has evaporated and fat is rendered, about 5 minutes. Continue to cook stirring frequently, until skin is crisp, 3 to 6 minutes more. Transfer skin cracklings to paper towels to drain, leaving fat in skillet. Pour off excess if necessary, leaving 1/4 cup. If under 1/4 cup, add olive oil.
Brown sausage in batches in fat in skillet over moderate heat. Transfer sausage to bowl with duck meat.
Add remaining garlic to fat in skillet over moderate heat, stirring for 30 seconds. Sitr in bread crumbs and cook until golden, about 2 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in chopped parsely, 1/2 tsp salt, 1/4 tsp pepper, and cracklings. Set aside.
After the stock has simmered, remove bouquet garni and duck bones and discard. Stir in sausage, duck meat, 1 tsp salt and 1/4 tsp pepper. Ladle cassoulet into casserole dish, distributing meat and beans evenly. Meat and beans should be level with liquid. Spread bread crumb topping evenly over cassoulet.
Bake, uncovered, until cassoulet is bubbling and crust is golden, about 1 hour.