ada Allah dlm hati

lepas subuh td, tdow blk. owhhh. lame da x disiplinkan diri, jgn tdow pas subuh. i mean. for these past few months, most of the reason i did that sbb keje lah. ni utk ble ade mase free skit ni, tlglah jgn tdow blk qlah! kate nak g playground. ngeh3... tp memandangkan rumah ni plg dkt dgn main building mindef (ministry of defense), makanya ramai plak org parking sane sini n jln sane sini g berkhidmat utk negara! grrrr~

td terjaga dr tdow sbb leon hantar SMS ckp class cancel! excited jap je. japppp je. 3 saat. sbb pk blk, xkan blh lari mane pun. final sem. semlm meeting FYP. register sem 7. senior weyhhh! superrr senior. tp haramlah x kenal sorang pun junior selain sem 6. ngeh3... kolej x besau mane pon tp, yerlah, sume bz so x delah adengan terserempak sgt. kdng terserempak junior pun, tataw die org junior sbb muka MACAM senior dgn gaya yg superstar belaka~

BZ + duit + tenaga + stress + enjoy =

menunggu dgn senyuman sambil angkat2 kening. wahahaha

btw. semlm masa meeting FYP, at the end, me + bhai + salghee + miraghee + ito main tulisan jawi. u know, i was good in reading but not that so good in writing. yup. miraghee was good in both. so did salghee. n we enjoyed that moment. cantikkan tulisan Allah ni? hurmmm... and kami mengaji jgk. tgk balik ayat hafazan masing2. tgk jgk tanda2 akhir zaman. cakap ttg alam kubur. and also, we agreed - manusia mudah lupa. so did us T___T

kadang... dlm kekejaman manusia. aku rasa lucu. (sarcastic)

mcm mana...

seorg perempuan yg mengandung anak 9 bulan 10 hari, blh buang anak mcm sampah

seorg lelaki yg terlalu ikut hati muda, blh rembat semua anak dara tak kisah cantik atau tak

seorg ayah blh merogol, meliwat, membunuh anak sendiri dari darah daging sendiri

seorg manusia yg punya hati, akal, tapi tak punya perasaan atau fikiran waras

sedih sebenarnya bila fikir semua tu... hurmmm...

aku. aku sebenarnya, seorang manusia yg hari - hari tak terlepas dr buat dosa. sengaja atau tak sengaja. yg sengaja, kadang aku sedar sgt benda tu berdosa. tp adat manusialah kan, rasa bersalah, menyesal, tp, buat benda jahat tu kan seronok? jd lupakan akhirat. jahilnya aku. haih~ entahlah. kadang pernah pk. bila maw betul2 insaf. i mean, benda yg dah taw berdosa, jgn buat secara sengaja. kang jap lg esok lusa mati, padan muka. tapi... 1 benda. yg hanya aku, dan tuhan tahu. bertapa banyak aku cuba untuk berkomunikasi dgnNya setiap masa. setiap hari aku tak lupa, walaupun hanya dari dalam hati aku...

kadang, time aku tgh menghampiri dosa tu, aku minta ampun dlm hati. dan menjadi kewajipan aku meminta ampun dr Allah setiap hari sebelum tidur. walaupun kadang kala, aku rasa dgn apa yg aku dah buat, Allah tak akan dgr kata - kata aku. jgn slh fhm maksud aku, maksud aku, aku sedar dosa aku terlalu bnyk, and aku sendiri rasa diri ni hina di sisi Allah. tp Allah tu Maha Mengasihi kan. ingt, Dia dgr rintihan semua hambaNya. tiada pilih kasih! hurmm... entahlah. aku rasa tahun ni, azam utk jd jahat tu makin lama makin menjadi. penat jd baik. kot~ tp bukanlah jahat kejam, cuma keras hati n buat apeee je aku nak. tak pk perasaan org lain sgt~

aihhh.. jujur. jujur sgt aku ckp, aku rinduuuuu sgt Allah. aku rinduuuu sgt ketenangan hati aku. aku rinduuuuu kelembutan aku. aku rinduuuuuuu semua kebaikan yg dtg dr Allah. aku... teringin ke tempat itu. bertemu dgnNya. walaupun aku amat sgtlah tak bersedia...

few weeks ago. i met one ustaz. he came to my new house utk u know, pagar rumah. and i met him, in person. dia ckp...

"awak tak ada apa - apa masalah. kawan - kawan ramai, tak ada yang dengki sangat. yg dengki awak tak kenal awak pun. biar mereka. hidup awak mudah. biasalah ada turun naik, tapi awak boleh hadapi. awak ada bf? (ngeh3... aku dah sengih. he asked me 2 give a name. i gave one.) owhh... budak ni baik. solat tak tinggal. tapi buat masa ni kawan dlu. hurm... ada apa2 masalah?"

ada. then mulalah air mata lajuuuuuuuuuuu.

"sy rasa ada bnda yg kosong dlm hati sy. rasa rinduuu sgt dgn tuhan"

"setiap satu air mata kamu tu, Allah kira. Allah tu Maha Pengampun."

waaaaaaaaaa. bnyk sudah rahsia diri didedahkan utk pengajaran siapa2 yg rajin bace.

semlm, mama ambil dr kolej. **utk pertama kalinya blk rumah siang hari utk 6-7 bulan ni.** pergi pasar malam seawal pukul 445pm. gileee la bnyk brg mama borong. mukeee aku x leh blaaaaaaa la kan penat. haha. busuk perangai si anak nih! then. nak dijdkan cerita, blk rumah kul 5 lebeyh tu, dlm 550pm, tertdowww. i've got a weird dream.

utk pertama kali aku raseee bunian yg muncul dlm mimpi aku. bkn syaitan.

tempat itu putih. tenang. sebuah rumah ke mahligai tak pasti. seorg lelaki, punya 3 org anak. apa yg aku ingt, 3 orang anak tu mengajak aku solat. muka bersihhh sgt. sgt bersih sgt cantik sgtlah bersinar muka mereka. aku bangun solat.

terus terjaga dr tidur. buka mata, mmg terus bangun dr katil, keluar je bilik, terus azan maghrib. whoaaaaaaaaaa. rase mcm, SEMACAM. tak kanlah syaitan nak kejut aku bgn tidur utk solat?

tp seriously, kalau syaitan yg muncul dlm mimpi tuh, tatawla kan. tp mereka yg kejut aku solat itu, sgtlahhhhhhhh bersih. tataw nak ckp camne. itu saje hari ni.

The Big Island of Hawaii: Papaya Heaven

If you want big waves and papayas, this is the perfect season of the year to visit The Big Island of Hawaii. We just returned from nine days of feasting on papaya in multiple forms, hiking along lava rock-strewn coast, snorkeling (for me, the first time), watching waves crash against the cliffs, visiting historical sites like the City of Refuge, and soaking up the warmth. It was heavenly.

We stayed in a house overlooking the ocean. While the kitchen was not particularly well-equipped, the land on which the house was situated could not have been more suited to our culinary endeavors. Trees of papayas (fully ripe, medium ripe, and green), avocados (ripening), bananas, macadamia nuts, tangerines, mangoes (out of season) dotted the landscape adjoining the house. The papayas played the biggest role in our diet by far. One of our traveling companions ate a very large papaya every day—seeds scooped out and replaced with yogurt. Simple and, he reports, delicious. Because he was the biggest consumer, he took on the role of forager and harvester. Not a particularly onerous task given our proximity to the source.

Our adventure with papayas began at the Farmers Market in Kona where we picked up six of them for $5, along with a bag of macadamia nuts, lettuce from the other side of the island, and a grapefruit. At the supermarket later in the day we bought bacon, olive oil, and red wine vinegar. Our first dinner on the island featured all these ingredients in a salad that was one of the best we’d ever eaten. We swooned. I call it First Night Dinner Salad and have tried my best to recreate it in the recipe below. What I can’t recreate is the particular situation in which we ate it: our first night in the house, so ready for tropical fruit we could hardly stand it, and still pretty full from a large lunch next to the water in Kona. During the course of the week, we went on to fix Papaya Quesadillas, Papaya Salsa with Ahi Tuna, Vietnamese Green Papaya Salad, and nearly every day a Papaya-Banana Smoothie, a specialty of our second traveling companion.

I took two cookbooks with me: Quick and Easy Vietnamese by Nancie McDermott and Aloha Days, Hula Nights by the Junior League of Honolulu, Hawaii. Both of them were excellent resources and provided us with a huge number of options for island eating. Ingredients were readily available at our ChoiceMart in Captain Cook.

Since returning, I haven’t been able to stop my island eating. I remembered Cindy Pawlcyn’s papaya salad in Big Small Plates with a salad dressing made with the papaya's round black seeds; I fixed it for dinner last evening. Let me know if you'd like the recipe for this salad. In addition to the First Night Dinner Salad, I’ve also cooked the Quesadillas, Tomato Relish, and the Salsa again, just to make sure they are as good here on the mainland as they were on the island. You’ll find the recipes below.

Now I must admit that the papayas I get in my supermarket here are not local and have no doubt accumulated a pretty large carbon footprint. From time to time I am willing to bend my local/sustainable/organic guidelines and this week, when I am still remembering and yearning for the foods we prepared in Hawaii, is one of those occasions. I bought myself three small papayas and have savored every bite. If you are yearning for a little tropical sunshine in your tummy, in the midst of the cold and rain, I recommend that you do the same.

Papaya Heaven Recipes

Papaya Salsa 

Serve as an accompaniment to enchiladas, tacos, molés, seared ahi tuna, or with chips.









1 medium ripe papaya, peeled, seeded, and diced
1 clove garlic, minced or pressed
¼ small red onion, finely diced
3 tablespoons fresh lime juice or more to taste
¼ cup finely chopped fresh cilantro
¼ teaspoon salt or more to taste
½ red or green jalapeno pepper, minced

1. Combine the papaya, garlic, onion, lime juice, cilantro, salt and jalapeno in a non-reactive bowl, stirring well to mix.
2. Cover and refrigerate at least 1 hour.
3. Taste for salt and lime juice. Add more as necessary.

4 servings
Adapted from The Junior League of Honolulu, Inc.’s Aloha Days, Hula Nights

First Night Dinner Salad

2 heads butter lettuce, washed, dried, and torn into pieces
1 pink grapefruit, sectioned
1 small papaya, seeded, peeled, and sliced
½ cup macadamia nuts, coarsely chopped
4-5 slices of bacon, cut crosswise into ½-inch strips
2 tablespoons finely chopped red onion or green onion
Coarse-grain Hawaiian salt, if available (white or pink), optional 

Red wine and paprika vinaigrette:
2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
6 tablespoons olive oil
¼ teaspoon paprika, smoky or regular
Salt and pepper to taste

1. Place the sectioned grapefruit and sliced papaya in separate bowls.
2. Fry the bacon until it is slightly brown and a little crispy. (I like limp bacon but I may be alone in my preference.)
3. Make the vinaigrette by combining all the ingredients in a small bowl and stirring with a fork to mix well. Taste and adjust seasoning. You can add a touch of sugar if your vinegar is quite sour.
4. Mix the greens with the onions in a salad bowl. Add about half of the dressing and toss carefully.
5. Arrange the greens on four dinner plates. Distribute the papaya slices, grapefruit sections, bacon, and macadamia nuts over the greens. Spoon the remaining dressing over each plate to moisten the fruit and nuts. Sprinkle with the optional coarse salt.

You can also add avocado slices if you desire.

4 servings for a light dinner or 6 for a side salad
My own devising

Papaya Quesadillas with Spicy Tomato Relish

2 tablespoons olive oil
1 fresh jalapeno pepper, red or green, seeded and finely diced
1 large yellow onion, thinly sliced
1 ripe large papaya, seeded, peeled, and diced
Salt and black pepper to taste
5 ounces Asiago cheese or other mild white cheese, shredded
10 10-inch flour tortillas
4 tablespoons butter, softened (or bacon fat if you have some)
Sour cream, for serving

1. Make the Spicy Tomato Relish before you begin the quesadillas. See recipe below.
2. Heat the oil in a skillet (metal or pottery) over medium heat. Add the jalapeno and onion. Sauté 5 to 10 minutes until wilted and slightly golden brown. Stir in the papaya. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Sauté briefly to warm the papaya. Set the pan aside.
3. Butter one side of each tortilla (or use the bacon fat if you’d like). Lay buttered side down in a hot skillet. Cover with one-fifth of the onion/papaya mixture. Sprinkle with about ¼ cup shredded cheese. Top with the second tortilla, buttered side up.
4. When browned on the bottom, carefully turn the quesadilla over to brown the other side using as wide a spatula as you have. If any of the filling falls out in the process, tuck it back inside. Remove from the pan and keep warm in a 250ºF oven on a rimmed baking pan.
5. Repeat with the remaining tortillas and filling, moving them to the oven as they are done.
6. When done, cut each of the quesadillas in half. Scissors work well. Serve warm with Spicy Tomato Relish and sour cream.

6 servings (if everyone eats about 1½ quesadilla halves)
You may have a little left over for lunch the next day. The cookbook suggests serving this as an appetizer, cutting the quesadillas into wedges, like a pie.
Adapted from The Junior League of Honolulu, Inc.’s Aloha Days Hula Nights

Spicy Tomato Relish

6 ripe tomatoes or 8 Roma tomatoes, seeded and chopped
OR
1 14-ounce can diced tomatoes
2 teaspoons minced fresh ginger root
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 teaspoon curry powder
1½ teaspoon cumin seed
¼ teaspoon fenugreek seed, optional
¼ teaspoon mustard seed
1 small dried hot red chile
Salt to taste

1. Put the chopped or canned tomatoes, ginger, garlic and curry powder in a saucepan, stirring to mix.
2. In a small skillet over medium heat, toast the cumin, fenugreek, mustard seed and chile pepper until the mustard starts to pop, about 30 seconds to a minute. Add to the tomato mixture.
3. Cook the tomato sauce on medium heat for 20 to 25 minutes, stirring often, until thickened. Season with salt to taste.
4. Remove from the heat. Scrape into a bowl and let cool. Serve warm or at room temperature.

If you have any leftover, you can use as a filling for an omelet.

 Adapted from The Junior League of Honolulu, Inc.’s Aloha Days Hula Nights

Gordon's Interpretation of Cullen Skink

This is my own version of the classic Scottish soup, Cullen Skink. The soup is traditionally made from smoked haddock, potatoes and onions - as it is here - but the potatoes are more normally mashed and added to the liquid of the soup, while parsley would be the more common herb employed in the recipe. I very much hope that you will try and enjoy my own slight variation on the theme. The quantities in this recipe are for one person.

Ingredients

1 skinless fillet of smoked haddock
6 small new potatoes (unpeeled)
1/2 medium white onion (thinly sliced)
1 pint of semi-skimmed milk
1 tbsp roughly chopped coriander (cilantro in the USA)
Freshly ground black pepper to taste

Method

The potatoes should simply be washed and halved and added to a pot of salted, boiling water for around twenty to twenty-five minutes until they just start to go soft. In the interim, the cold milk, onion and haddock should be placed in a large pot and the milk brought to a simmer. The milk should continue to be simmered for around ten minutes, until the haddock is cooked. At this stage, the haddock should be removed from the pot with a fish slice and broken in to moderately small flakes, at the same time feeling for any bones which may remain and discarding them.

The haddock, potatoes, chopped coriander and black pepper to taste should then be added to the soup pot with the milk and onion and re-heated. The Cullen Skink should then be served immediately, piping hot.

The Traditional Food of Scotland: Food Tip of the Day - Monday, January 18th, 2010

The traditional food of Scotland was once something considered to be such as haggis or shortbread. In modern times, it is often considered to be anything cooked by Gordon Ramsay! In reality, however, the traditional food of Scotland takes many shapes and forms. Scotland has historically been famed for its fish and seafood, its beef and lamb and so much more.

In what is the lead up to Burns' Night 2010, I thought that I would on this blog explore a little bit of the traditional food of Scotland and endeavour to eliminate some of the common myths along the way. The video to the left is of Gordon Ramsay cooking salmon and the article linked to below will hopefully serve as an introduction to our week-long theme.

The Traditional Food and Cuisine of Scotland