Tuesday, June 2, 2009

a good slap in the face

June 2

I’d never been slapped in the face out of friendship before, but I liked it. Michael Pesce, who’s the presiding justice for the New York State appellate court that hears criminal and civil cases from Queens, Brooklyn and Staten Island, smacked me after we had dinner at Tommaso. It was a very gentle slap, but it was a slap. It seemed oddly appropriate, too, and kind of nice — like he was saying, “your okay, kid.”
Mind you, I’m 42 years old, and thus not a kid. I’m certainly younger than Mike, though, who took on a de facto mantle of leadership during our recent trip to Puglia with the Gruppo Ristoratori Italiani. Tommaso's chef and owner, Tom Verdillo, was on the trip, too, and he’d had us over for dinner while trying to replicate some of the dishes we’d eaten on the trip.
Alan Schoenberg, whose family has been salt merchants in Brooklyn for three generations, was on the trip, too, and he has a car, so I rode with him and his wife Brenda. Also at dinner was food-writing couple Bob Lape, until very recently of Crain’s New York Business, and his wife Joanna Pruess, who has written many food books, most recently a bacon cookbook. She’s currently working on one on cast-iron pot cooking. Bob and Joanna weren’t in Italy with us, but they were invited to dinner anyway.
Mike Pesce was an enthusiastic senior aficionado on the trip. He’s a Barese, you see, a native of Bari, which is Puglia’s capital*.
Tom, being a chef, strayed a bit from his original plan, and served other dishes as well, including a sort of salt-cod pâté (not unlike a French brandade de morou, except that dish is made with potatoes, and Tom’s was all fish), and his own signature dish for the season, Nantucket Bay scallops, steamed with plenty of garlic.
Tom never fries garlic. The key, he says, is to cook it gently to tone down it’s bitter qualities.
Here’s another thing about Tom and his cooking: His family is from near Naples, in Campania — if Puglia is the heel and back ankle of the Italian boot, Campania is the lower shin — but he doesn’t like dried oregano, a key herb for the region’s food. “I prefer marjoram,” he says. And he also uses fresh oregano, from his own garden.
He served a traditional regional dish called fave e cicorie, which you'd think would mean fava beans and chicory, but in fact, it means basically any beans and any bitter green. Normally the beans are puréed, but Tom tracked down some beautiful gigante beans, which as you can imagine are gigantic (for a bean — let's say an inch and three quarters by two-thirds of an inch, or something like that) so it would have been silly to purée them. And he cooked them with dandelion greens. Then he veered away from Puglia with a Calabrese dish (Calabria is the front of the foot of the Italian boot — the part that’s kicking Sicily), because he’d procured some cod tripe from Chinese suppliers, and the Calabrese stuff that and braise it. It was very tender, and had the sort of unctuous quality that good tripe has.
I think Mike enjoyed it, but he also said that Calabrians and Sicilians aren’t really Italians, but something different, which is really what you’d expect a Barese to say.
Then we had orecchiette made with Primitivo wine (Primitivo is a grape native to southern Italy, and is in fact the same grape as Zinfandel) and a ragù of all sorts of meats, including lamb and rabbit and pork, and some veal sausages.
I ate too much of it, especially since it was followed by a black bass that had been caught the evening before. The people who caught it couldn't fit it into their fridge, because it was so big, so Mike had them call Tom and drop it off.
At that point we opened the bottle of wine that Alan had brought, a 1949 — yes, 1949 — Burgundy, a Volnay, that remained fully intact, robust and delicious.
You never know with wine that old.
And that was followed by a semifreddo topped with chocolate.
So then, full of food and wine, we slowly stood up, wandered outside into the great late-spring air and chatted a bit more, and that’s when Michael Pesce slapped me in the face before wandering off into the night with his girlfriend.
Mike moved to the U.S. as a teenager and did the typical American dream stuff, working his way through the ranks to become one of New York State’s top judges as well as a food and wine aficionado and by all accounts a respected member of the community, nice guy and all-around good person.
I couldn't decide whether it was more generational or Italian to slap someone in the face affectionately. It’s definitely an alpha male thing to do, and a product of a patron-client system: I don’t think you could slap someone who was both your social equal and of a similar age.
I imagined slapping my underlings. I don’t have any actual underlings, really, but I am the official mentor of my colleague Mike Dempsey, who likes to do food writing, and I encourage him, try to get him good assignments and give him advice when he asks for it. I think he might let me slap him, once, gently, the way Mike Pesce did, but I don’t know if I can reach that high: Mike Dempsey’s 6'5", making him 13-and-a-half inches taller than I am.
So I’ll probably never really know.

*Technically, Mike’s not from the city of Bari, but from the province of Bari, but provinces in Italy are really like U.S. counties. They’re small, and you can be counted as a Barese if you come from anywhere in the province.

Ketagihan Membodoh

Hari ini...
Hari ujian ke dua.
Kalau kemarin gue enggak tau masuk jam berapa dan ngeri kesiangan, hari ini gue malah sengaja bangun siang. Ngantuuuk bos!
Sampai sekolah, naik tangga dalam *fyi: tangga di 65 cuma ada dua, satu tangga dalam dan satu lagi yang jadi ciri khas, tangganya diluar. Begitu gerbang langsung tangga.* dan menemukan setengah (cewek-banci-cowok) ngedeprok di beranda ruang 7 dan 8.
Ada yang tiduran (ssst itu tono ivon) ada yg duduk bengong, ada yg belajar *yeah masih ada yg rajin!*. Gue langsung ikutan duduk bengong dengan tas masi di pundak.

Enggak lama bel berkoar. Sial udah masuk aja.
Pelajaran pertama, GEOGRAFI-kramat!
Berharap banget pelajaran krusial gini dapat pengawas yang yummy.
Syukurnya, dewi fortuna *bahasa gue jadul* berpihak pada ruangan gue.
Yang ngawas Bu Dasmaral dan Pak Satya (sedikit flash back tentang pak satya, tahun lalu waktu ujian semester, gue masih kelas satu, dia ngawas di ruang gue dan tiba-tiba aja ada hp yang berdering dengan ringtone "IDOLA CILIK" dan itu milik bapak buncit satu itu, pak Satya)
Bu Das dan Pak Satya asiik banget ngasih kesempatan nanya.
gue bisa nanya sekitar 3-4 soal geo ke pram yg gue ragu.

SIALNYA!!! Pelajaran ke dua itu agama, dan enggak ada istirahat langsung di sambung pelajaran ke dua, beda sama jadwal kemaren yang istirahat dulu baru jam kedua.
Gue PANIK! Maaaan, agama enggak sama sekalipun gue baca.
SAMA SEKALI. Kiamat lahhh. 3 bab gitu, bengong gue.
Lagi lagi gue menengok ke belakang, "Pram!.." Pram kembali memandang ke arah gue dari kertasnya, seraya menepuk tangannya "Gue bergantung pada lo yah! Gue belom belajar! siaaaal."
pram cuma senyum-senyum agak malas juga, pasti kebayang berapa persen jawaban yg akan gue tanya.
Apalagi, pas masuk kelas dan gue menyapa dia dengan kalimat super manisss!
"Pram nanti bahasa jepang gue serahkan ke lo ya. hihi"

Walhasil, bener aja, agama gue banyak ngasal dan enggak mau ngebahas, enggak lupa banyak nanya juga. Pram tengkiyuu. Nilai gue aman, dikiiit pram. hihi.
Bel istirahat berdering, gue sekelas udah pada keluar. Meja belakang gue yang di kerumuni Pram *pastinya*, mayang, ayib, septi, rendy masih ngebahas soal AGAMA. Oh God, please deeeh, enggak usah debat mending belajar. (Kaya gue dong! Enggak belajar.)
Bahasa jepang memasuki waktu eksistensinya.
Cuma 30 soal.
Baru nomor 4 aja gue udah ngantuk parah.
Gue paksain baca soal sampai nomor 30.
Ada sekitar 9 soal yang gue enggak isi.
Gue langsung meletakkan pinsil sekaligus meletakkan kepala.
Hmm, sekitar 10 menit gue ketiduran. Hoaaam.
begitu bangun, hal yang pertama kali gue lakukan adalah nengok ke pram.
"Pram.." pram diam enggak dengar. "Praaam."
"Ya?" gue langsung memiringkan sedikit badan gue biar lebih mudah.
"tujuh sampai sebelas pram."
e-b-a-bla bla bla.

Sebenernya, gue masih punya banyaaaak banget waktu buat nanya semua jawaban, tapiii males. Masih ngantuk.
Akhirnya gue malah ngobrol sama Pram, dan lucunya pak Jumino enggak negur, karena ngerasa gue sama pram sama-sama udah selesai.
Tiba-tiba hp gue berdisko, merinding-merinding ngagetin.
ternyaataa dari Jundiah, dia ngirimin jawaban 1-30.
Mubazir, kalau ada teman baik terus gue acuhin.
Yasudah, gue buka lagi lembar jawaban gue. Dan gue samain jawabannya sama yg di sms.
Ahh! bener ada yg salah. Sekitar 5 soal yang salah.
gue benerin dan langsung keluar. Pulaaaang.

Pulang sekolah gue ke kantor kawanku dulu, mau nyerahin design iklan.
Sampai disana, gue masih ngobrol sama mba muti, dan ngebaca majalah BOP.
majalah luar. Sampai halaman akhir gue baca, gue nyaris muntah! Pasalnya isinya cuma orang yg sama dari halaman ke halaman. Selena gomez, Demi lovato, Vanessa Hudgens, Zac Efron, Taylor lautner, Robert Pattinson, Jonas Brother's, Taylor swift, nathan kress, Miranda *lupa nama panjangnya*, sama miley cyrus. Cuma itu...! hueeeks bosen banget!

Selesai ngasih materi ke kak tanya, gue ke kak zoya, nyampah, terus ke kak marti and kak ningky. Berkat mereka, gue dapat masukan buat nyari endorsement buat antalogi cerpen ccw. Gita gutawa, mau di coba minta kesediaannya tanggal 9 nanti.

Berhubung hari ini gue enggak di jemput, maka gue pulang cepet, padahal baru setengah tiga. Maklum besok masih ujian. Gue keluar dari gedung Bumi Daya Plaza menuju halte Tosari. Gue melihat bus patas AC yang (tadinya) gue yakin 44 ke arah ciledug. Pas gue naik dan nempelin pantat, ternyata ke arah ciputat. Goblok!!!
Turun lah gue di halte dukuh atas, mestinya 44 lewat sini juga.
Tapi udah 15 menit nunggu, enggak nongol juga. Maka gue milih naik busway ke halte gelora bung karno.

Untungnya, selama nunggu 44 di halte gelora bung karno, gue di temenin ditha. Ditha love you so much!!! xoxo. Sampai akhirnya datanglah si babon 44. Gue naik, agak ramai tapi masih ada bangku kosong. Gue minta bapak-bapak geser supaya gue bisa duduk. Dan dia ngejawab pake bahasa inggris, gue enggak ngeh dia ngomong apa. yang jelas gue duduk di tengah. Dan masih tetep on the phone sama Ditha. Masih ngomongin antalogi ccw.

Entah mengapa, bapak-bapak bule di sebelah gue enggak berhenti ngoceh dengan bahasa asing yang kayaknya bukan inggris, bahasa planet deh. Gue cuekin, gue tetep on the phone. Terus dia nyanyi ga jelas, masih gue cuekin. Sampai akhirnya, daerah kebayoran, mas mas sebelah gue mau turun. Sok gue bilang ke bapak-bule ga-jelas itu "excuse me." dia nengok dan bilang, "mau turun ya?" gue shock!!! Anjriiit nih orang, kenapa dari tadi pake bahasa planet sih.

Gue parno, gue pun ikutan bangun dan keluar, enggak mau duduk disitu lagi. Setelah udah jauh, gue dapet duduk agak depan. Dan hidup gue aman. Siaaaalaaan. Jujur yaa, gue parno abis samping tuh bapak-bapak. Meskipun sikap sok cool dan senga gue pajang tetep aja aslinya gue ciut. Gue tetep serem. beneraaan deh, kalau lo di posisi gue, lo bakal tahu, betapa enggak nyamannya gue saat itu. Untungnya gue sampe rumah dengan selamat tentram damai utuh. thanks God.

Sekali lagi, hari ini gue isi dengan ke begoan gue. Pesen gue, mending hati-hati naik bus, jangan sampe salah. kalau sekali salah bisa berantakan buntutnya. Ya ya ya. rencana bobo siang gue rusak deh gara-gara bapak-bule-ga-jelas-aneh itu!

5. Vinka and her diary

Dear diary...

Vinka hari ini menghadiri acaranya Derio.
Ya ampuuuuuun! Untung aku dandan dan enggak tampil cuek bebek.
Derionyaa... GANTENG BANGET dengan jeans, t-shirt, and blazer.
Wanginyaaa hmmm sexy and cool gitu deh.
Dan yang namanya Nando ternyata keren juga.
Semua teman-temanya yg cowo keren, yang cewe cantik. Untunglah aku enggak kebanting :)

Aku juga di kenalin Derio ke pacarnya, Sonya. Aga arab turki gitu sih, cantik dan manis. Ramah pula.
Cocoklah sama Derio yang ganteng. Tapi jujur, hatiku teriris, dan ciut juga.
Aku kalah jauh sama Sonya.

Oh yaaa, tadi aku hampir jatuh di taman karena kepeleset, tapi aku di tolongin sama cowo songong yang ramah.
Blasteran Inggris-Itali-Batak gitu deh dia, namanya Feburo.
Aku enggak ngerti deh, diary.
Tiba-tiba aja Derio dateng dan narik aku masuk ke dalam waktu aku lagi ngobrol sama Feburo.
Dia kayak marah gitu. Aneeeh deh.

Terus tadi aku pulang di anter sama Nando.
Dia wangiii banget. Aku suka sama cowo yg wangi.
Aromanya fresh tapi enggak bikin mabuk.
Diary, tahuuu enggak sih. Tadi Nando juga ngajak aku makan dulu.
Dia kelaperan banget katanya. Ngeliat dia makan yang banyaak banget.
Sssst dia mesen dua porsi soto madura ckckck.
Aku jadi ikutan laper dan makan deh.
Nando juga ternyata seru. Hmm dia oke juga. hihihihi.

Aku kok jadi enggak terlalu mikirin Derio yaa Diaryku?
Gawat nih! Tandanya aku enggak setia tapi bagus juga sih, berarti aku enggak perlu bersakit hati ria. hehehe.
Aku capeeek banget nih, diary. AKu bobo yaa.
AKu mau mimpiin Derio, Nando, dan Feburo dulu ya. *maruuk*

4. Vinka and H-1 Derio's event

VINKA lagi-lagi dilema.
Undangan dari Derio, besok malam.
Mesti pake baju apa?
Casual? Feminine? Boyish? Glam? aaaarrrgghhh!
Udah seharian ngubek-ngubek lemari, belum pas. enggak PD.
Yang biru, kurang oke sama kulitnya yang sudah mulai makin coklat.
Yang merah, terlalu terbuka.
Yang hitam, rendanya bikin risih.
Bingung. *ciri khasnya Vinka banget*

Disaat kakinya baru aja menduduki singgasana di ujung kasur, getar-getar gimana menggoda Vinka.
Ada telepon.
"halo..." jawab vinka asal.
"Hai ms.Vinka." suara cowok yang berat serak tapi ceria.
"Hmm, ini siapa?"
"Derio Handoyo, ingat?"
"Enggak..." dag dig dug
"ahh serius lo ga inget?" Derio mulai kecewa
"Inget deng! masa iya gue sepikun itu. hehe. ada apa?"
"enggak, cuma mau friendly reminder, besok jangan samapai enggak dateng ya."
"Hmm.. oke,gue usahain yaa."
"WAJIB DATENG VINKA."
"Iyaaaaa iyaaa iyaaa"

Vinka masih belum bisa tidur, meski matanya sudah berat.
Suaranya derio masih terngiang-ngiang. Segitu pentingkah kehadiranku besok? batinnya.

3. Vinka dan Undangan yg aneh

VInka sibuk membolak balik halaman majalahnya.
Ada yang nyangkut di otaknya sampe-sampe enggak bisa menikmati tiap suguhan dimajalah.
Sekalipun ada profil cowok ganteng yang bikin ngiler sampe kering.
Matanya saja yang terlihat menyantap pemandangan di kumpulan kertas itu, pikirannya masih estafet sana sini.

Masih beratanya-tanya. Soal apa? Pastinya hal yang dominan di diri seorang cewek.
P.E.R.A.S.A.A.N.
Catet perasaaan!
Masih bingung ini namanya apa?
sayangkah? cintakah? naksirkah? sukakah? begokah?
Binguuuung!

"Ya Tuhaaaa. mesti berbuat apa aku dengan perasaan ini?" batin Vinka bimbang.
"VINKA REVIZINITA. Sedang apa kamu?! Sudah membaca majalah, bengong lagi! KALAU KAMU BOSAN< ya enggk usah sekolah. PAHAM?!" Vinka melonjak dan reflek melempar majalahnya yang tadinya nangkring di pangkuannya.
"Ma ma maaaf yah Pak. Sa sa sayaa lagi enggak waras." ujarnya panik sambil berdoa semoga majalah yang di beli dengan uang seratus ribu terakhir di dompetnya bulan ini engak angus gitu aja. Maklum majalah luar, jadi enggak seenteng membeli kacang goreng.
"Kamu enggak waras? KOK BARU SADAR SEKARANG?? KEMANA AJA KAMU!!!"
"Lah pak, saya kan enggak warasnya kadang-kadang doang." sahutnya sambil merungut. Punya guru kok enggak asik banget. Umur doang muda, 25, tapi pikiran kolot kaya dodol.

Berakhir Vinka keluar dari kelas lengkap dengan majalah dan handphonenya.
Lolos dari ancaman maut majalahnya itu,
Tapi ternyata otaknya masih skarat stadium 4. Masih enggak bisa diusik.
DERIO HANDOYO.
Cuma satu kan penyebabnya?
SIMPLE aja.

Tiba tiba kantong kemeja di guncang oleh kehebohan getaran dari handphonenya.
Ada panggilan mauk.
Nomor yang asing. enggak dikenal.
SIAPA? MAsih belom tahu.
"Halo.." jawab vinka ragu.
"Hai.. hmm, ini vinka bukan?" suara seorang cowok yang lembut tapi berat.
"Eh, iya. Ini siapa yaa?"
"Gue Nando."
"Nando mana ya?"
"Hmm temennya Derio."
"HAH?" Vinka mau pingsan rasanya *lebay* kaget aneh bingung.
"Kok kaget banget gitu sih? haha"
"Hmm ada apa yaa?"
"Enggak sih, gue cuma mau nyampein undangan aja nih."
"Undangan apa yaaa?"
"Undangan pernikahan."
"Apa? Siapa yang nikah? Lo?"
"Bukan, tapi.. Derio."
"haha serius lo dia nikah?"
"Menurut lo? Ya enggak lah. Ini undangan syukurannya Derio untuk pameran fotografinya. Yah dia kan hobby motret tuh."
"oh ya? Gue baru tau."
"Ya lo kan baru kenal sama dia."
"Hmm, tapi kenapa gue di undang yaa?"
"Kalau itu gue enggak tahu. Pokoknya di daftar yang mesti due undang dari Derio ada nama lo."
"Oh oke deh. Makasih ya."
"Sama sama."

Vinka hanyut lagi dalam lamunannya.
Kenapa dia di undang? Tau darimana nomor hpnya?
Harus dateng atau enggak?
Huhf!
Derio derio. cukup dong ganggu hidup guenya!

Timbul satu pertanyaan baru lagi. "GUE MESTI DATENG GA YAA?" gusarnya dalam hati.
detak jantungnya udah ga normal. Kebat kebit enggak jelas. ampun!

2. Vinka and dillema

Search : Derio Handoyo

Add? jangan? Add? Jangan? Add? Jangan?
Jangan? Add? Jangan? Add? Jangan? Add?
Vinka masih membekukan jari telunjuknya diatas mouse.
Dengan sekali ketukan saja, akan ada sesuatu yang berubah.
Nekat atau jangan?
Pertimbangannya : Kalau nekat, dia bisa tahu lebih banyak tentang Derio, kalau di confirm friend requestnya, dan dia punya kesempatan lebih besar bisa ngobrol dengannya.
Kalau jangan, dia bisa terbebas dari prasangka (kalau) negatif, kalau Derio mikir dia kegatelan, atau genit, atau ngefans. tapi resikonya, dia enggak akan pernah bisa ngobrol banyak sama Derio.
Kalau di add ya siap terima pahitnya juga sih. Who knows?

'Ayo Vinkaaa, it's easy. Just click and everything gonna be alright.' Vinka berusaha meyakinkan dirinya lagi.
Nampak ragu dimimik Vinka. Pasalnya timbul puluhan lipatan tak berdisiplin di keningnya.
"Bismillahhirohmannirohiii
im" klik.
Vinka berhasil melawan ketakutannya. *gitu aja kok repot*
Vinka harap-harap cemas.
Derio, i just want to get closer.

It's not a real Vinka.
Vinka gadis rame yang bawel dan berani.
Masa ciut sama hal kecil kayak gini?
Vinka beralih dari komputernya.
Kasur terasa keras kala gusar.
Padahal kasur Vinka kasur merk terbaik di dunia.
Matanya tertuju pada manik mata boneka sapi raksasanya, Bona.

"Bona, aku salah enggak sih nge-add dia?"
"Akuuuu enggak bisa lupa bayangan Derio. Akuuu..." kalimatnya terhenti ketika suara pemberitahuan notification fesbuknya menyela.
Dengan sigap ia kembali bercinta dengan komputer.
Ragu kembali melanda.
'Ini bukan confirm Derio kali,nka! Jangan kebanyakan berharap deh.' keluhnya.
putus asa.
Ia mengklik warna merah itu.
Vinka and Derio Handoyo are now friends.
Huaaaaaa!
Belum siap untuk sadar dari gembiranya.
Kembali ada bunyi yang memaksanya konsen pada komputernya.
Chat.
Derio Handoyo.
'is it real?' seraya tamparan dari daun tangan kanannya menghigapi pipinya sendiri. *pelan kok, sakit kali*
Getaran dahsyat menyelubungi Vinka.
Gemetaran.

Derio : Hai, ini Vinka yg kemaren y?
Vinka : Hai, iya nih. Inget ajah. hihi
Derio : Thanks for the add ya, nka.
Vinka : u r welcome :)
Derio : Gimana tugasnya?
Vinka : ehmmm, lumayanlah.
Derio : Belom selese?
Vinka : Blm lah, masi byk tau
Derio : Sukses ye
Vinka : Makasi Derio
Derio : Rio aja panggilnya
Vinka : Oke dech, Rio. :D
Derio : lagi ngapain?
Vinka : cm ol fb sama msn ajah. Rio?
Derio : Lagi nunggu pacar sms nih. hhe

Krak. Krek. Krik. Krek
Patah-patah lah hati si bunga Vinka.
Vinka Gladys patah hati. hiks hiks hiks.
He had girlfriend.
oh mai gooot!

Derio : besok minggu kmn nka?

Vinka hanya memandang layar dengan lesu.
Hancur hancur hancur hatiku. *lagunya olga yeaaah*
Semangatnya merosot hingga kekepala semut.
Kisah cintanya kandas saat belum dimulai. Ironis.

Derio : Vinkaaa? r u there?
Vinka : Yes, but i'm on the phoe. so chat later yaa
Derio : Oh ok, nice talk with u. bye
Vinka : Bye

Hanya sampai disini?
Rio. Derio Handoyo.
Ternyata hanya jadi angan-angan.

dipandanginya sesaat profil picture Derio.
Lucu. Senyumnya lepas dengan lesung pipi yang manis.
tapi tetap cool dengan matanya yang dingin.
'Harus kah aku remove dia?' bimbang lagi. lagi lagi bimbang.
'Ya enggak lah odong!' hati kecilnya berkoar.
tapiii...kan dia udah punya pacar.
'kalau dia punya pacar, lo jadi enggak boleh temenan sama dia?' hatinya lagi-lagi berdecak.

kali ini ia terganggu lagi.
Oleh panggilan dari msn chat. Kenapa?
Ada friend request juga rupanya.
anak.handoyo@live.com
hah?
Itu msn nya siapa?
Handoyo? gampang ketebak. Pasti Rio.
Yes or no? hmmm Yes.

1. Vinka Roadshow

huaaaam. perut laper. Rumah masih jauh. Langit sudah pekat.
Malam, jam menunjukkan pukul 21.30 WIB.
Vinka masih duduk di deretan tengah dekat jendela sebuah metro bus kota.(itu loh yang warna oranye)
Kaki senut-senut gara-gara enggak berhenti jalan dari siang.
Kerja keras banget hari ini.
Demia sebuah karya ilmiah mengenai pergaulan remaja untuk syarat kenaikan kelasnya, Vinka rela muter-muter jakarta.
Dari barat ke selatan ke pusat dan sedikit ke utara.
Menyambangi tempat nongkrong tersohor di jakarta.
Dari mulai yang murmer sampai yang mahalo gilalo.
Sendirian? Enggak kok.
Tadi ditemani Marina dan Sehra.
Tapi rumah mereka beda arah, jadi pulangnya berpisah.
Sebenarnya ini tugas kelompok, satu kelompok empat orang.
Tapi satu lagi, chifa lagi sibuk buat ujian TOEFL-nya.
Kuisioner dan handy cam.
Dengan muka tebal menghampiri gerombolan anak muda.
Vinka : Hei, permisi. Gue Vinka dari SMA Tentram 1. Gue lagi ngerjain tugas mengenai pergaulan remaja nih. Boleh ganggu bentar?
Cowok kribo yg lagi menyeruput teh botol : --ragu--
cowok mesos yg lagi sibuk smsan: --melirik bolak balik antara hp dan vinka--
cowok yg lagi ngerokok : Oh, okay, silahkan.
*itu baru tiga cowok*

Selesai tiga gerombolan disambangi.
Dengan sedikit penolakan untuk ngisi kuisioner yg bisa dipatahkan Sehra yang aga cerdik rayuannya, dapatlah video dan data kuisioner.
Ada yg narsis, ada yg risih, ada yg TP(terbar pesona).
Pindahlah Vinka dkk ke tongkrongan lain.

Bunyi ricik air mengusik Vinka. Hujan. Arrgghhh!
What the hell! Payung ga bawa, naik metro pula, yg jendelanya enggak bisa menampik air hujan.
Merelakan hoodienya untuk tersentuh air, Vinka kembali melamun.

Derio.
Salah satu responden yang ia temui dan wawancara,
Manis, keren, hmmm tajir.
Tapii, dia perokok berat --dari gayanya sih begitu, yg enggak berenti ngisep--
Sedangkan Vinka punya asma yg cukup akut.
*baru kenal kok udah mulai membayangkan pacaran?*
Derio.
Untung tadi sempet minta facebooknya, dengan dalih untuk data.
Tapi Vinka kembali ragu..
Add atau enggak ya?
Hmmm.

Barbecued Beef Short Ribs

[Project ‘Recreate New York Food’ to commence shortly. This is just shameless filler whilst body clocks return to normal and things like mountains of washing get done].

Forget everything you think you know about the rules of the kitchen. For just a few minutes.

This is just plain wrong. It shouldn’t work. Nearly every bodily fibre was screaming, shouting, balling at me to stop and obey the bloody rules. This method flies in the face of conventional cooking methods and tickles the scrotum of classical cuisine before running away and hanging out with the cool kids.



There are some cuts of meat that are user-friendly. They are fast, boneless and easy. The chicken breast. The fillet steak. The pork loin. A sprinkling of seasoning and a quick searing over a high heat and you have a tasty morsel ready for consumption.

Then there are those that need a little more care and attention. And time. Lots and lots of time. In general these are the cuts that I cherish (secretly I think most cooks do, at least those that really love their food).

They are the ones that are left on the bone, that need to be braised in liquid (wine is good. Always) until they are meltingly tender and rich, delicious and unctuous. Or roasted s.l.o.w.l.y.

But they are winter meats.

Now that the sun is here why would you want a hearty stew or daube Provençal?

As such, I thought the short ribs I have would have to remain in the freezer until the clouds roll in, the temperature drops and the desire for rich sauces and mashed potatoes returns once more.


Not so.

I picked up a copy of Gourmet magazine at JFK airport (‘The Grill Issue').

In it was a wonderful photo essay about a Mexican barbecue supper complete with recipes for a multitude of tasty treats. But one in particular stood out because it made me scratch my noggin and mutter: ‘There’s no way that could work. It goes against everything I know and cheekily tickles the scrotum of classical cuisine.’

Beef short ribs. Unmarinated. Unbraised. Unadorned. Just seasoned with salt and pepper then cooked over hot coals and torn apart by enthusiastic teeth. How could you not want to try that?



One of the best things about barbecue cookery is the purity of it. It’s as close most of us get to recreating the ancestral methods that live on in the collective memory. It’s just you and the fire, the ideal conditions for letting your inner Neanderthal out for an hour or two.

Which is great. And I’m all for delicately spiced fish wrapped in banana leaves or long marinated pork chops or skewers of vegetables drizzled in olive oil. But to really get to the heart of the purity of outdoor cooking all you need is a great hunk of meat.

If you’re going to do this, you might as well go all the way and release the caveman.

Enter the beef. Bones and all.

Seasoned in advance (ignore the hokum about only seasoning meat milliseconds before you are about to cook it), they were left at room temperature until the barbecue was seriously hot (hold your hand the coals about five inches up – if you have to move within 1-2 seconds, you’re at the right heat). Then it was time to cook them.



Where American short ribs tend to be cut across the rib, the English butcher them differently, giving single bones rather than a series of them dotted through the meat, much like the equivalent cut on a pig. It matters not. They need about three or four minutes on each side to really get that tasty browning before they can be moved to a cooler part of the barbecue to cook through.

Leave them for about fifteen minutes, turning occasionally. You have a lot of leeway with these bad boys. A steak can overcook in just a couple of minutes. These butch fellas can take it, begging for more. It’s like watching the cast of High School Musical take on a team of Jack Bauers (oh, I would give a minor appendage to witness that).



Once cooked leave them to rest for 10-15 minutes (absolutely freaking essential) – just the right time to dish up whatever it is you would like to accompany your feast. Salad? Perhaps not the best option. I’d go for beer. And maybe a mound of potatoes. Concessionary veg optional.



Season the meat again – just a little turn of black pepper and some sea salt and dig in. This isn’t dainty food. Use of hands is not just recommended, it is mandatory. The taste is incredible. I’ve never had a steak that tasted as good as these. Honestly. Not a single steak has ever come close. The flavour is intensely meaty, packed full of umami and downright deliciousness.

If you’re used to meat that is so tender it may as well have been pre-chewed then these will come as a shock. They offer up some resistance (hardly surprising considering they are the Jack Bauer of the food world) but in a really satisfying way.

I don’t want my food to fall apart in my mouth. My incisors and molars evolved for a purpose. Precisely this purpose: for tearing off mouthfuls of completely delicious beef, still on the bone and tasting exactly like beef should.

Naturally, I cooked too much. The rest were left over night then sliced thinly, still pink, to go into wraps the following day with some spicy beans, spinach, guacamole and chillis.

Anthony Bourdain has a term for food like this: It’s the sort of food that you would only serve to friends, and people you already know you are going to like. Put your inner sceptic to sleep for just one night, invite over some people you know will appreciate this (vegetarians need not apply) and make a long, long evening of it.

For more meaty mouthfuls, follow me on Twitter