pengawas taik

weyh. bangun pagi tadi. b4 9am. actually...time tuh. mate still x leh bukak. seriously. wahahah...da la bnyk bantal best2 utk dipeluk! tp. ku gagahkan jgk diri nih bgn. nak buat limitation! tdow lmbt mcm mane pon, kene bgn b4 9am! haha... i mean, on holiday la. weekdays if ade class, still kene bgn awal even x leh bukak mate pon. haha. okay. then...guess what i've been doing?

sy jogging! haha... da almost a month x excercise. bout 1 hour non stop. what? ingt org sehat walafiat mcm sy nih x leh lari? haha. sorry... not me. got da stamina. haha. poyo seketika~ okay. back to the topic. while i was running, i was accompanied by;

katy perry. britney spears. will-i-am. usher.
lady gaga. ciara. akon. 50cent. beyonce. nelly. kat deluna.
PCD. rihanna. nelly furtado. flo-rida.

ala. pasang earphone sudah. huhu. time tgh lari...n nyanyi dlm hati. sy perasan, its all english songs. then i just smile. kebetulan...and. ia buat sy teringtkan something. dulu...sy mmg x pandai langsung english. setakat skit2 tuh reti la. tp sgt skit. sy teringt wktu sy darjah 2. sy pengawas di sekolah rendah kebangsaan sg besi. 1 fine day, i've got an award. it's an award 4 - best student of standard 2. sangat happy! sbb jd best student. whee~~~ then. happy la dpt hadiah. yg penting. best student.

then. sy masuk class. time english... belajar ttg bahagian badan. sy telah disuruh utk menyebut perkataan SHOULDER. time tuh. sy x reti. sy salah sebut... tp. teacher tuh. sgt marah sy. sampai skrng sy x boleh lupe bnde nih. cube teka. ape die kate?

"aqilah. u ni kan. shoulder pon x reti nak sebut?
ni bukan best student.
nih bukan pengawas contoh.
nih pengawas taik!!!"

damn it. sedeyh nye sy time tuh. sy kecik lg. sy baru happy2 dpt hadiah. teacher blh marah sy depan2 kawan2 n buat sy rase terhina sgt. bnde tuh dah 12 tahun. tp sampai skrng bile sy teringt lg, sy rase sebak blk... malu. hina. bodoh. semua sy rase. sy balik tunjuk mama hadiah best student sy dpt, tp sy nangis. sbb sy ingt teacher. mama tanye kenape, sy cite sume. mama jmpe teacher esok harinye. dont worry. mama bukan mcm sesetgh emak yg main serbu cikgu die marah2 tanpa sebarang sbb yg kukuh. mama jmpe teacher n tanye elok2, nape mcm tu skali. teacher tuh menggelabah... n diam je. tp. sy tetap sedih...

drjh 3 sy pindah sekolah, ke sarawak. sekolah rendah bantuan st mary. sampai sy drjh 5. abah kene pindah ke srwk atas urusan kerja. jd sy pon terpksa pindah sekolah. di kuching, sekolah sy nih di tgh bandar. jadi, di sini sy mula belajar english dgn lebih baik. sbb srwk kan ade bnyk kaum. most of them, speak in english. sy belajar dr die org. mereka sume baik. sy happy sgt. owhhh...terlupe. its a girl school. and my group, we're multi racial. best3!!! sgt bnyk perayaan we all celebrate taw? huhu. then, my english, better, but not good enough.

UPSR. sy d melawati. sekolah rendah kebangsaan taman melawati (1). sy dpt 4a 1b je. and, 1 b sy = english! malunyerrrr...upsr tuh sgt senang utk dpt 5a. lagipon, sekolah melawati. most of them pnye english mmg SUPERB kot? gosh. tamparan yg agak hebat utk sy. form 1 & form 2. sy d sekolah menengah taman melawati. pon same. english sy standard dpt 70-80 lebeyh je markah. i was expecting 90++. then. sy pon teringt...kak long pernah ajar sy mcm mane die blh terror english. oh my, she's damn good. english yg power. jeles3!!!

u know how? okay. watch lot n lot of english movies. listen carefully to the dialogue. then, read the subtitles to make u understand it. or perhaps, just keep on listen. if u dont understand a word, its a must to look at ur beloved DICTIONARY! then. i just listen to english songs. search 4 the lyrics, and sing along! yup. until now, if u do realize, i used a lot of sentence from a few lyrics that i just, really love. haha...kantoi sudah~ i read a lot of english magazines + novels and i speak english. with ppl around me. even a lot of ppl think, "berlagak gile nak speaking2" . ishhh...nak belajar pon x bleyh ke? huhu... typical malay mind. aiyooo... but,thats how i learn. tp...pas abis spm nih. rase english da lintang pukang balik!!! waaaaaaaaaaaaa... nak improve semule. -__-

from pengawas taik...
sy dpt A utk english time PMR...
dan juge A1 utk english time SPM...
thanks god. 4 making me better.
thanks teacher. i'll never 4get u.
thanks mama n abah. 4 always being there 4 me.
thanks friends, yg bnyk sgt3 membantu.
sumpah sy jeles dgn english kalian!!! =D
thanks life...4 teaching me a lesson.

Caminar sobre la nada.

- No serás capaz de hacerlo.
- Siempre has dudado de mí, ¿verdad?

Calíope sonríe pícaramente, y lo mira a los ojos. Ve el reflejo de la duda, un poco de temor, recelo e inseguridad. Sabe que no cree en ella, tal y como los demás.

Rememora tiempos pasados mientras el viento acaricia suavemente su cara y la invita a dar un paso más.

A los trece años falló las pruebas de ballet para entrar en una prestigiosa escuela sólo porque su madre pensaba que la pieza elegida no era adecuada. Ella sabía que sí lo era... pero con esa carencia de fe no le servía de nada. A los quince, suspendió a drede un importante examen de matemáticas simplemente por el placer de decepcionar a su profesor. Algo parecido hizo a los cinco años, cuando fingió no poder aprender a leer sólo para observar la frustración de su tutora, que no creía que una niña de apenas cinco años recién cumplidos pudiera leer un libro decente.

Nunca nadie había creído en ella, excepto su padre. Él fue quien trató de hacer despertar ese monstruo que ahora mamaba de sus propios pechos, lamía las aurículas y ventrículos de su corazón, anhelando sus pulsaciones. Él le puso por primera vez la mano en un bisturí para hacerla sentir el cortar de la carne humana. Él tuvo fe en ella cuando decidió hacer medicina. Sólo él.

Y ahora se había ido; la única persona que creía en ella se había marchado para siempre. Ya nadie iba a creer en ella nunca más...

El viento agitó su cabello y nubló sus ojos. Muy abajo, el ruido del tráfico taponaba los oídos de los transeuntes, ajenos al manto que cubría sus mentes.

- No hagas locuras, Nessa.

Calíope lo vuelve a mirar, y sólo ve a un extraño. Traga saliva, nerviosa, y se pregunta qué quiere probar... no tiene nada que demostrar a alguien que no cree en ella, que no cree en sí mismo... y de pronto lo ve.
En el edifico de enfrente, sonriente, extendiendo los brazos hacia ella. Oniros ríe divertido ante el espectáculo, pero ella no es ninguna actuación circense de la que se puedan reír. Se levanta con decisión y comienza a caminar hacia él. Camina, camina sobre la nada, sobre el aire, sobre las moléculas de oxígeno, nitrógeno, dióxido de carbono... sobre las cabezas y las mentes de todos los habitantes de la ciudad. Sobre el hombre que ha dejado en la azotea tras de sí con la boca abierta, estupefacto. Con la tutora, el profesor de matemáticas, la profesora de baile, su madre...

Lo entiende. No necesita a nadie, a ningún ser vivo para hacer estos milagros. Sonríe. Sólo tiene que creer una persona en ella: ella misma en sí.

Comienza a correr sobre el aire, a saltar, a reír y brincar. Al otro lado la espera un abrazo cálido que la hará soñar hasta la salida del sol con granos de arena y cristal.

Ya nada es imposible. Ahora está despierta el todo. Ahora puede volar.

da beginning of my holiday

1st. i'm okay... while typing this, i'm totally fine. owhh...x jd tdow. entah. pdhal baru ckp dkt akid, da nak tdow. maaf akid. x jd tdow. kalau tak blh lepak jumma skali kan? eheh. erm. cmne td? best teh o ais ko? wahahaha...akid x minum ais kosong mlm nih =P lately. a lot of things yg dah well planned, x dpt nak d-follow. most of the things, x jd. huhu...nasib badan. hidup x selalu indah. but its okay. indahkanlah sendiri hari anda. haha...

last friday, ayie + kambink ajak kuar if free. i've to say no to both. cuz on sat, da janji nak teman mama. went to pasar tani + masjid jamek + jln tar. and sunday [2day] should b going to mid. doing some survey. but it's last minute canceled too. since ayie is going back 2 perlis 2day, 4 sure x sempat nak jmpe die. he said, april maybe. okay. hope so. x sabar nak dpt souvenir from japan =P kambink plak. as usual. extremely bz with his work + friends. so, da tanye td. esok nak jmpe ke x since survey tuh x jd. still, no answer. pagi2 bute time org tdow aderla hp yg bernyanyi - nyanyi. whuuu~~~ so. dunno yet what's the plan 4 2morrow. perhaps. just stay at home.

this upcoming monday, 23rd feb. should be seeing khalida. and, PAPP! cancel! going 2 meet her on 26th. but, its still pending too~ tuesday 24th feb, so far so good. going to meet fatin a.k.a adeq. wed 25th feb, ili can't make it. and it would be replaced on 6th march. this weekend. between zaid n khairi. khairi wanna meet me on 28th. so do zaid. dunno yet. since wan tataw lg blk ke x.
zaid. aku umpan wan suruh blk, die jual mahal! huhu...
confirm kah anda kte akan berjmpe this weekend? =P
hurm...macam - macam kan? life owhhh life.
kita hanya merancang. tuhan yg menentukan.

actually. a lot of things happened lately. yup. i wanna shout it all out. but still. waiting 4 the right time. i mean. the right time 4 me. to spend my time, and write it with a rational thinking. yup. its a long story. so, its gonna take a long time. so. later maybe. dont worry. i'm okay. and i really mean it. just. i wanna explain. and make things clearer than b4. and then, thats good enough 4 me.

anyway. thats all 4 now kot... hehe.
good nite. sweet dream. take care. be happy. tata.

Bellywashed

When I moved to Deerfield, I was a sophomore in high school and like any teenager I was worried about fitting in. If I wanted any friends at all, I had to do what the Deerfield kids did - luckily this wasn't drugs, drinking, or unprotected sex. (In fact these Deerfield kids were disgustingly smart and over-achieving). But one thing that was popular with my new friends was pineapple pizza.
The first time I was invited over for pizza, it was a given that we were getting pineapple. Where was the pepperoni, sausage, green pepper, mushrooms, etc. I wondered. Those were the popular toppings. The pineapple, that was like the misfit, the Ally Sheedy of toppings.
Well I didn't want to be the misfit so I said nothing, ate my pineapple pizza and thought it was weird. And then the next time we had it, I was prepared and kind of used to it if not loving it. By the third time, I was enjoying it - and finding that this Deerfield place wasn't half bad.
How did this happen? How did pineapple pizza, something I had never conceived of at age 14, become one of my favorite pizzas to this day?
There's only one explanation - I was bellywashed. That's right - bellywashed. My stomach was brainwashed into believing that I liked this odd combination of sweet and savory. And I would never go back. That's what happens when you're bellywashed. Someone else's favorite food (often your significant other or roommate or person who just won't leave you alone) becomes your favorite food. At first you only eat it to be nice or to not make a fuss. The next thing you know, you're buying things like fresh fennel to roast, and never looking back.
That's my goal in cooking for friends. Yes, I want to make them food that they enjoy, but I also want to convert them to loving food that I enjoy. (Why do you think I write this blog?) And the funny thing is, when they begin to love it, I remember why I loved it in the first place. So when my friend Monika raves about goat cheese mushroom tarts with GOAT CHEESE in all caps, or my friend Katy repeatedly makes a garlic shrimp recipe I gave her or my dad keeps asking me to make risotto, I know they've been bellywashed. And that makes me feel like the popular kid.