Friday, April 17, 2009

BINTANG HATI muncul semlm...

semlm. tnggu kwn abah hantar external. tp. die ckp. die beli yg latest.
so bnyk bnde nak kene setting. time tuh...
it's already 11 pm. sy da ngantok amat. ngantok ke malas? entah.
sy biar la laptop on. on9. sementara tnggu uncle tuh dtg.
sy nak tdow dpn sofa sambil tnggu uncle dtg...

tp. sy bukak email. n tgk bnde mcm YM dkt tepi email tuh. sy invi. sbb nak check sape ade je.
sy slalu try tgk BH [bintang hati] ade x. sy taw if die ade pon die invi.
tp semlm die ade!!! lame da die x on9. die ade semlm. sy excited! tegor die!

sy ckp... "waaaaaaaaaaa. kejam!!! on9 buat invi. x tego lak tuh!!!"
[as if la die taw sy on9 ke x sbb sy pun buat invi. huhu. ]
then senyap je. sy tnye lg. "on9 kan? huuu... sehat? "
senyap. sy tdow dlu depan sofa. terjage 11:30pm. die reply.
dlm 11:15pm. die ckp "sorry2... ni pun baru on9"
sy bls dlm 11 setgh tuh ckp. "okay... so. sehat x? erm."
senyap lg. n sy tammo kaco die da. die jrng on9. n mesti ade keje.
so sy just ckp "bz eh? x pela. tammo kaco. good nite & sweet dream."
"take care & good luck always. tata. i just miss u."

hurm. bkn senang2 nak buat muke x malu ckp mcm tuh. tp ble da btol2 rase.
tgn nih main ckp je. biarlah die rndu sy ke x. sbb yg penting sy da lepaskan.
kot2 nnt die x sempat taw yg ade org rndu die. mesti sy terkilan~ hurm...
lgpon dpt taw die bace pe sy ckp, pon sy dah lega. i mean. die respon.
tande die ade. tande die dgr. erm3... and. die da biase dgn prangai sy yg.
bendul. childish & mcm2 karenah nih. die taw sy mcm mane. so.
lg sy x bape kesah sgt ckp "i just miss u" cuz i do really miss him.

and bgn pagi nih. sy check email. die ade tnggl off9 msg utk sy

BH (17/4/09 11:58 PM): alamak..
BH (17/4/09 11:58 PM): sori2..
BH (17/4/09 11:58 PM): ok..
BH (17/4/09 11:58 PM): nite..
BH (17/4/09 11:58 PM): take care of urself..
BH (17/4/09 11:58 PM): all da bes in anythng u up 2..

mcm biase. die jrng nak ckp secara terus if die pun rndu. sy x kesah.
die slalu ckp rndu pun secara x langsung or lawak. huu~~~ and and.
sy taw die syg sy lg, cukuplah sekadar sebagai kawan je pun,
melalui cara die layan sy n pandang. non verbal lg penting okay!!!

erm. sy rindu die.
sy rindu die yg di jakarta indonesia tuh.
sy rindu die yg sedang bz mentelaah buku2 medic die tuh.
sy rindu die mendgr masalah sy sambil tunduk kan muke berpk ttgnya~
sy rindu die gelakkan sy bile sy malukan diri sdiri.
sy rindu die yg ske buat muke x leh blaaa tgk sy mkn n minum bnyk
sy rindu die yg ske ckp sy bendul sbb sy lmbt catch up if die tpu.
sy rindu die yg ske buat lawak bodow ble sy sdeyh or mrh, tp last2 kene mrh dgn sy.
sy rindu die yg lebih bnyk diam menyimpan semua rahsia hati die.
sy rindu nak tgk cara die jln, cara die keluarkan hp dr poket seluar.
sy rindu die ske kenekan sy ttg makan pdhal die pon kuat mkn...

owh owh owh. sy x kesah dah pun die pnye perasaan terhadap sy.
sbb sy pon x berharap ape2 sgt. tp sy taw. die respect ape je yg sy rase.
nasib baik die bkn mcm org lain yg cpt melatah kalo org mcm sy wujud.
and and. biarlah die kdng2 nmpk mcm x kesah ttg sy pun.
sbb sy taw. sebenarnye die kesah. sy je. yg x fhm2 die. sdngkan.
die da sgt fhm sy... =]

ayat die lah.
"just go with the flow"

baiklah. ikot flow lg la nih!!! XD


Smiling at tragedy

April 17

We Jews are well known for our sense of humor — wry, ironic, self-deprecating. Except for when it comes to the Holocaust. The Holocaust isn’t funny, and we know very well to be somber when it’s mentioned. Once someone says “Treblinka,” you can’t joke anymore.
In the West that seems obvious and self-evident, but many people do laugh at tragedy. Go to China and watch movies that have scenes from the Cultural Revolution, the period from 1966 to around 1972 when chaos reigned. Schools were closed, precious artifacts were destroyed, people were tortured, humiliated, exiled to the countryside, driven to suicide, and society in general was in the grip of a combination of personality worship, paranoia, mass hysteria and other things that I don't understand.
But watch those movies with a Chinese audience, and they will laugh uproariously.
When I was a student in China, I asked one of my professors about that and she said that it just all seemed so absurd and ridiculous. Even though she was there and remembers it well, she laughed about it.
“Oh, silly, silly us, torturing and humiliating each other. Ha ha ha ha ha."
I was reminded of that last night at the 2nd Annual Taste of Southeast Asia, a celebration of the Therevada Buddhist New Year (celebrated in Thailand, Laos, Cambodia and Myanmar — and presumably in the Xishaungbanna Dai Autonomous Prefecture of China’s Yunnan province) and a fundraiser for Khmer Legacies, an organization whose mission is to remember the 1975-79 genocide in Cambodia, when it was estimated that between one million and two million people were killed.
That was in a country of around eight million people.
Khmer Legacies is doing that by videotaping the younger generation of Cambodians interviewing their parents about the genocide, with the goal of collecting thousands of stories that bear witness to the atrocities of that period.
It was a fun party. Cedric Tovar, former chef of Peacock Alley, was there helping out. He says he’s negotiating a lease for his own restaurant and hopes the ink will be dry in a few weeks. If all goes as planned, it will be a relatively small, neighborhood place featuring the sort of French-influenced modern American cuisine de chef that you’d expect from him. Singha beer from Thailand (it’s pronounced “Sing”; the “ha” is silent — just trust me on this) was being poured on the ground flour while Beer Lao was available in the basement, along with really hard-core authentic Southeast Asian food, including a sort of Thai/Lao beef jerky called neua taet tio (which basically means sun-dried beef), a chile-and-lime marinated shrimp, green curry with tofu (tofu is not a traditional protein in green curry, but you have to give the vegetarians something to eat, and one of the sponsors sells a lot of tofu), curry puffs and assorted steamed and pan-fried dumplings, as well as a pre-packaged dessert that was simply unsweetened coconut and coconut jelly frozen and served in coconut shells.
Upstairs with the Singha were Vietnamese spring rolls, a hamburger served with hoisin sauce and mango, and assorted other goodies. I also sampled the first carbonated green tea I’d ever seen. It was flavored with jasmine and sweetened with sugar cane syrup. It was tasty and refreshing.
I met American film makers who had lived in Cambodia for four years, talked about opium with a young Jewish lawyer, and otherwise mingled with an interesting cosmopolitan crowd.
The emcee for the evening was my friend Jamie Tiampo, who you’d probably like, because he’s a sweet guy.
When it was time for the evening’s presentation, he bounded on-stage, all smiles, welcomed everyone and talked cheerily about Khmer Legacies and how it was appropriate to have a fundraiser for it during the Buddhist New Year because it was during that period that the Khmer Rouge marched into Cambodia’s capital, Phnom Pehn, in 1975, completing its takeover of the country and (he didn’t say this) beginning its ruthless extermination of intellectuals, people who wore glasses, anyone who spoke a foreign language and basically anyone who they felt like killing.
I thought his ebullient, good-natured approach to the whole thing was a tad inappropriate until he introduced Khmer Legacies founder Socheata Poeuv, who showed a video of one of the interviews she was collecting.
A woman spoke of the Khmer Rouge takeover of Phnom Penh and its inhabitants' forced march into the countryside. She said even the hospitals were emptied, and invalids were crawling on the ground until they couldn’t go on. She said everyone just expected to die.
Then the video switched to the daughter of the woman who had been interviewed, who was all smiles and just delighted that she’d had a chance to learn about all of those things from her mother.
Yay!
What can I say? People deal with tragedy differently.
I went downstairs for more Beer Lao and met a young Thai-American NYU student who had formed an organization to encourage Asian women to be more expressive — to speak their minds more and stop second-guessing themselves.
That’s a worthy cause. I’ve met plenty of East Asian women both in North America and in East Asia who are whip-smart but who hesitate to express their opinions in public. It’s a cultural thing, but I think it can be a hindrance in these women achieving their full potential. She wanted to meet Jamie, so I took her upstairs to introduce them, and we both met a young Sino-Indonesian who worked for an advertising agency but who also was an independent film maker.
I asked if he were Hokkien, and he acted impressed that I knew that most of the Chinese in Indonesia (and Malaysia and the Philippines, for that matter) were Hokkien. It turns out that he’s half Hokkien and half Taechiew. The latter make up the bulk of the Chinese population in Thailand’s central plains, while the Hokkien are the dominant group in southern Thailand. That country also has plenty of Hainanese and Hakkas.
Anyway, one thing led to another and for some reason I talked about the cultural divide that splits Southeast Asia into two regions, the Buddhist north and the Muslim south. The border actually runs through Thailand, which has a population that’s something like 95 percent Buddhist, but its five southernmost provinces are majority-Muslim.
The young Thai-American woman was about to say something but then stopped. I chastised her and asked if her entire organization wasn’t about getting Asian women to speak their mind, so she said she was going to joke that that cultural divide was why everyone in Muslim Southeast Asia should be killed.
“Nice,” I said (sarcastically, obviously). “Nice joke at a genocide party.”
Sometimes self-censorship is a good thing.

all the ladies


thanks a lot ainaa amira
4 this award !!! =]



Syarat2 menerima award ni:

1.Pastikan jantina anda adalah perempuan

2.Copy badge sebagai award anda

3.Nyata 7 sebab kenapa anda bangga menjadi perempuan

4.Pass kan award ini kepada girl-friends anda


sy punyai hati yg lembut, mudah simpati & sanggup buang ego utk selamatkan keadaan. biarlah. asalkan yg lain bahagia.

sy bebas utk pegang tgn, peluk, cium kawan2 perempuan sy sebagai tanda bertapa akrabnye kami. kalau lelaki dgn lelaki buat mcm ni, mesti org pelik!

zaman D12 @ MRSM kuala lipis. miss all my gfS... ={


sy dpt rase mcm mane senggugut, mengandung & beranak kelak. insya allah.

sy jugak bebas nak pakai semua jenis pakaian termasuk pakaian lelaki. sedangkan lelaki kalau pakai pakaian perempuan, mesti orang pandang serong.

ade mcm2 special day mcm ladies night, movies pon ade ladies day, and ade mothers day, womans day, and mcm2 day lg. best !!!

sy blh berfashion & nikmati mcm2 bnde best yg bnyk sgt pilihan if nak dibandingkan dgn pilihan yg lelaki ade. cthnye; perfume, handbag, baju kelawar, baju kurung.

sy punyai firasat yg amat kuat. =]



award2 nih utk...

shafinaz . nora . eeda . adeq . mai + nini . syakey . eyann . iqah . ayong . alia . nia . eiykaa . eyqa . hawa . ruzanna . aiman . yanie . ainaa K . afiqah Z . fatin suhana . izzah . ili nadiah . ili athirah . keyna . nufaz . yana . izzah . emma . sis hana . kak lynee . zairis . nabilah .


senarai kesyukuran

tag oleh akid - syakirin =P

saya bersyukur...

  1. saat sy menaip ni, sy masih ade jari -jemari utk menaip.
  2. saat sy menaip ni jgk, sy ade mata utk melihat skrin...
  3. saat ini jgk sy bersyukur punyai telinga & masih dpt mendgr kereta lalu lalang d belakang highway duke.
  4. sy masih ade mulut, utk menguap, bercakap, makan & gigit.
  5. sy ada lidah yg membolehkan sy merasai semua kelazatan makanan
  6. masih berkaki utk berjalan, berlari, melompat, berdiri & bersujud pd-Nya.
  7. miliki tangan utk melakukan pelbagai aktiviti harian.
  8. punyai rambut utk dijadikan mahkota wanita
  9. organ dalaman sy masih berfungsi dgn baik & memblhkan badan sy terus bernafas
  10. suara sy dpt digunakan utk bercakap, menyanyi & berkomunikasi
  11. perut yang elok utk memberi isyarat pabila lapar @ tersalah mkn
  12. sy punyai lengkap semua anggota badan tanpa sebarang cacat cela.
  13. perut sy dah kenyang sbb org lain mungkin ada yg sdg menahan lapar
  14. sy lahir sebagai anak tunggal sbb sy dpt rasa perasaan yg jarang org lain rasa
  15. sy punyai mama & abah yg terbaik d dunia hingga saat ni sbb mungkin ramai lg yg x punya ibu bapa
  16. sy masuk MRSM w/pun mula2 sy x nak sbb da 3rd intake kerana sy jmpa ramai kwn dr pelbagai negeri, pengalaman tnggl d asrama & yg paling penting, sy jumpa kwn2 D12 sy.
  17. sy ada sepupu sepapat yg rapat & gila2 sbb ramai yg dah terputus hubungan dgn sepupu mereka.
  18. sy ada aunties & uncles yg cool, open minded & caring tnpa pilih kasih sbb ramai lg yg x kenal pakcik - makcik die org.
  19. sy x kaya tp sy senang sbb mungkin kalau sy kaya, sy lupa diri.
  20. sy lahir d malaysia sbb jika nak dibandingkan dgn negara lain yg jauh lebih ssh & x aman
  21. sy selamat d negara ini sbb negara lain sdg berperang & ditimpa bencana alam yg pelbagai
  22. sy pernah berada d atas & d bwh sbb kalau x, sy x dpt rasa perasaan mereka yg d bwh.
  23. sy gemuk sbb tu tanda sy amat cukup makan & dpt rasa pelbagai mcm jenis mknan.
  24. sy sedar diri x terlampau cantik,cukuplah sekadar sedap mata memandang sbb kalau x, sy mungkin menyalahgunakan kecantikan itu,
  25. sy dah dapat lesen kereta sejak umur 18 sbb sy tahu ramai lg yg tak ada lesen kereta.
  26. sy pernah patah hati sbb sy taw mcm mana rasa kalau kita patahkan hati org lain.
  27. sy selalu pindah2 sampai ada 9 buah sekolah sbb sy ada ramaiii sgt kawan!
  28. almari sy penuh baju wlpun ada bnyk yg sy jrng pakai sbb sy kene ingt, ramai lg mereka yg nak tukar baju sebulan sekali pon ssh.
  29. kipas d rumah sy masih berpusing sbb itu tandanya sy masih mampu bayar bil elektrik.
  30. sy x terlalu pandai sbb sy x terlalu tension utk mengekalkan kepandaian sy.
  31. sy x terlalu bodoh sbb sy masih lg dpt belajar mcm2 dlm semua aspek kehidupan
  32. sy punyai air mata sbb mungkin sy jdkan air mata itu sebagai senjata sy
  33. sy dipanjangkan umur sbb hidup ini terlalu singkat.
  34. sy punyai kereta & rumah sendiri yg mama & abah hadiahkan utk digunakan wkt kerja kelak walhal sy masih belum habis belajar lg.
  35. sy x pernah cuba merokok sbb mungkin nnt sy x kan dpt berhenti merokok
  36. sy masuk MIIM (akademi tv3) sbb kwn2 sy dkt sini ajar sy makan roti planta & teh ais.
  37. sy pilih bidang broadcasting sbb sy belajar ilmu baru yg mmg sy minat walaupun letih & bz.
  38. sy x masuk matrix sbb mungkin sy x dpt score btol2 dkt sane. tgk kwn2 sy pun ramai yg lepasan matrix, dpt tawaran U tp x dpt bidang yg mrka minat.
  39. sy tolak bidang law walaupun sy minat sgt dr kecik sbb sy dah sedar, sy cuma minat ciri - ciri seorg lawyer yg kuat berhujah dgn yakin, bukannye sy minat utk menghafal atau belajar sejarah.
  40. sy tak teruskan cita - cita d dlm bidang forensik sbb sy sedar, sy mmg amat minat & menggilai bidang itu, tp mungkin itu bkn bakat, atau kemampuan sy.
  41. dlm 2-3 hari ni sy dpt luka - luka kecil sbb itu tandanya Allah nak mengurangkan kesakitan sy di hari pembalasan kelak.
  42. sy dpt berlindung dr hujan dan panas dlm rumah yg serba serbi ni sbb sy taw ramai lg yg terpaksa menahan diri menelan air liur melihat org lain yg selesa.
  43. sy pandai menulis dan membaca sejak kecil sbb kalau tidak, tentu sy x dpt melanjutkan pelajaran.
  44. sy punyai cukup segala - galanya utk menjalani kehidupan ini dan masih berdiri sehingga hari ini.
  45. sy masih rasa insaf pabila sedar bertapa bnyk dosa sy lakukan sbb itu tandanya sy masih diberi peringatan oleh Allah S.W.T
  46. sy ditimpa pelbagai masalah, sbb baru sy tahu ramai sgt yg masih menyokong, ambil berat dan syg sy walaupun kdng2 sy x nmpk pun semua tu
  47. sy masih punya hati yang lembut sbb kalau sy dah keras hati sepenuhnya, mungkin bukan sekadar tiada rasa simpati pd makhluk lain, tp sy juga mungkin jd manusia yg sgt kejam.
  48. sy masih terus hidup ke hari ni sbb kdng2 sy x sangka sy dah pun berjaya menempuhi pelbagai ujian yg mendatang.
  49. ramai yg tiba2 muncul d chatbox sy secara ikhlas atau tidak, sbb sy dpt mcm2 in4masi, nasihat, tomahan, peringatan. sbb sy baru sedar ramai lg yg menyokong sy dr belakang n yg plg penting, org yg tak kenal sy pun begitu ambil berat ttg sy.
  50. sgt2 bersyukur... sbb sejak 2 menjak ni. sy rasa makin dkt dgn Allah. dan sy nmpk... ramai org kasi sy pahala free2. terima kasih.

tak terkira kalau nak disenaraikan semua rasa syukur sy.
cuma kdng2 sy pun selalu x puas hati dgn apa yg sy miliki.
bila nmpk mereka yg kekurangan, baru sy syukur...
baru sy sedar bertapa bnyk rezeki sy...
bertapa bnyk nikmat tuhan berikan pd sy...

sy syukur sy islam... sbb islam agama plg benar n suci
sy syukur sy perempuan... kerna tgn ini yg goncangkan dunia
sy syukur seadanya...
kerna, kalau tidak.
sy tak mungkin jd diri sy skrng.
aqilah amin

terima kasih kpd Yg Maha Kuasa
dan juga makhluk - makhluk Allah yg lain.