Monday, May 18, 2009

bila ssh, cari kawan



salam. hye. ermmm... okay. kehidupan. complicated but simple aite? yup. hidup ni simple je even a lil bit complicated. semuanya ditentukan oleh pemikiran & cara kite merumuskan sesuatu. time kte rase down or full of mess, kte rase life ni ssh amat. then ble sume da settle dan diuruskan. kte terpk... owh. x sangka dpt harungi sume. see? simple. tetibe ingin bercakap ttg ini...

"kawan2 aku ni sume x guna. bile ssh baru cari aku"

mestiii semua pernah rase n terpk camni. tpu la kalo x de. esp org yg jenis cpt emo. cpt marah. cpt lonely. cpt majuk. n all da negative things. okay... dlu. sy pun PERNAH berpk mcm nih. DULU itu time kanak - kanak riang d skola yg pk ikot ske hati. lately. tidakkk. yerlaa. dulu mane x geram. ape yg sy nmpk...just. kwn sy tuh kalo putus cinta baru cari sy. tgh boring baru cari sy. contoh2 ayat die org gune...

"hye. buat ape? boring laa..." --- owh ho...boring baru cari kaa?
"hurmm...aku da putus ngan die" --- aik? jmpe blk kawan? huu...

okay. itu duluuuu. tp sebenarnye. mmg ramai pon jenis lupe kawan.
TAPI. ingin sy tegas dkt sini. sekarang. ape yg sy mampu pk. adelah positif.
biar sy terangkan. ini adalah cara pemikiran sy skrng...

kawan2 bukan nye x guna. bkn nye die org cari kte ble ssh je. tapi...
kawan2 pon bz mcm mane kte bz. dan. majoriti kte, ingin berdikari.
selesaikan masalah sendiri. sekuat mungkin. ramai jgk. yg ske. pendam.
but u know. sometimes. sekuat mane pon org tuuu... they need some1.
to talked to. to share everything with. so, bile sampai 1 tahap.
die org da x leh handle sdiri... barulah die org CARI kte. dgn harapan.
kte mendgr shja pon da cukup. bg pendpt lg bagus.

lagipon. kdng2, bile kawan2 nak contact kte, die org mungkin ragu2.

"die bz nih. tak elok aku kaco die"
"tak nak sshkan die plak. die da bnyk bebanan lain"

so. sedar tak sedar. die org akan kurang cari kte.
kecuali hal penting dan sekali -sekala sahaja. bkn mrka sombong.
bkn mrka lupa. tp...mereka jg bz & punya alasan sendiri.
kadang2 jgk. org asing adalah lebih baik utk diceritakan semuanya.
berbanding dgn org yg paling kte rapat dlm dunia nih. ermmm...
jd. berhentilah berprasangka buruk dkt kwn2 dan, sebab sebenar die.
hanya diri die dan DIA je yg taw. itulah manusia.

lagipun. manusia berubah dgn masa. itu fitrah.
komitmen mereka bertambah, tanggungjawab menebal.
mereka mungkin makin matang. tp...seringkali. kte tersilap lihat.
mereka berubah....sedar atau tak. mereka sama. lebih baik.
kita yg tak melihat dgn rasional.

tp...kalau mmg kawan kita tu berubah, ke arah negatif.
buat la ape yg patot sebagai kwn, then biarlah mereka.
kalau itu yg mereka pilih jgk setelah kte cube bantu.
tp kalo kawin x ajak, pdhal leh je contact...
tu mmg kawan lupe kawan la! haha XD


$ELL ()u7! "Sell OUT" the movie



This movie made an impact to the way I view myself.

Its made me laugh outside and cry inside all at the same time. How does this happen?

Reflecting on part of the movie I began putting the puzzles together...

and questions starts to appeared in my mind.





Are you a good guy or a bad guy? (one man’s meat is another man’s Poisson)



Are you smart or are you intelligent or are you wise?



Do you help other but not yourself? or do you self help yourself and not others?



Notice, this is a 2 choice question... but it that the only option to life?

I think not, there are many and it’s up to you to choice.







I noted that this movie is a exaggeration to what is real life.

the roles you will see;



1) the smart but low self-esteem person that lets himself gets bullied



2) the person that puts on a mask or strength but is weak and lonely inside





3) Rich people may not be always happy or intelligent (Money cannot buy you brains).





I see part of myself in the movie... do you?





Go and watch Sell Out the movie, Leave a comment also yeah. Thanks =)

A Benedetti.

Brillante estrella que ahora nos alumbras desde el cielo,
Brillante, recién estrenada;
Te encendiste ayer en la tarde
Y brillas todavía cuando despunta el sol bien alto en la mañana.

Te marchas, igual que otros antes partieron;
Regalando adioses y bienvenidas,
Cerrando ese paréntesis que es la vida,
Recordándonos cuando éramos niños,
Cantándonos aquellas canciones del que no canta,
Volando a ras del sueño,
Hablándonos del amor, las mujeres y la vida;
Con insomnios y duermevelas...

Existiendo para nosotros, siempre...
Y no como decías, "todavía".

Para Mario Benedetti: inspirador, soñador, genio y humano.

He mezclado para rendirte mi pequeño homenaje aquellos títulos de tus libros de poemas que más me gustaron. Gracias por haberlos escrito, maestro.

future... what would it be?


haih~ i just got a news... well. bout something that... erm.
i-just-hate-2-hear-da-most. bad news. i mean a very bery bad news.
disaster. mess. nightmare. BOOOMMMM... okay. fine. hurm...*stay calm*
bout a very BIG rumors, that finally turned to ---> reality!
yeah. i just have to wait and see what's next? ={

nothing much to be exposed right now. i just can't.
just, it's about my FUTURE. i mean. my life. yeah..
bout my destiny. and who am i going to be in the next few years.
and IF its really3 going to happen. i mean.. .. ..
how can i just restart everything with ZERO?
how can i, start my new life & rewind & re-do everything?
again??? urghhh~~~ unimaginable.

was it my fault 4 not taking an opportunity to be a lawyer?
or was it my fault, too, 4 ignoring those offer to be an engineer..?
ishhh...kalau x minat buat ape nak ambik? hurm. ={
then i talked to a friend of mine.

i've told him a part of the messy mess...

aqilla_aa89: shahli..taw x...qila tgh riso gle nih..
aqilla_aa89: hurmmm..x btaw sape2 pon lg..
him: ap die?


***and i've told him everything***

aqilla_aa89: ya allah...kalo kene restart blk kan...
aqilla_aa89: gile leteyh..nak kene ***** tmpt lain..
him: leh nye..
aqilla_aa89: dugaan-Nya~~~
him: insyaallah..
him: believe in urself..
aqilla_aa89: hurmmm...
aqilla_aa89: nak nangis je rase..
him: xbek pkr cm2..
him: rezeki allah ad mcm2..
him: sabo2..
him: ad nye jln kuar..
him: jgn pts asa..
him: ok..
him: aqilah..
him: shahli ad hal sat..
aqilla_aa89: erm...baiklah shahli..
him: nnti smbng blk..
him: in da mean tym..
him: byk2 bersabo n solat..
him: insyalaah
him: allah akn tnjukkn jln..
him: ok..
aqilla_aa89: okay...hope so..


Un-planned 3-day weekend

So I think I have strep throat. :-( Not fun at all. I woke up Friday with a scratchy throat, thought it was allergies or a slight cold. Well it hasn't gone away and my left tonsil is all swollen and I saw white patchy stuff on it too. So I am going to urgent care as soon as it opens to get a culture and antibiotics.

I don't know why, but I always feel horrible for calling off work. It's not like I do it all the time; this is the first time I had called off at my new place and I have been there since October. Plus all my other co-workers call off way more than that. I guess it's just the way I was raised to work. It's funny but most people my age don't have that kind of work ethic; they don't really care if they call off and will do it all the time. I guess my boss should be thankful I am not like that. I had nightmares all night about having to call her too! Thankfully she didn't answer so I just left a message. She just sent me a text saying she got my message though and to get better soon. So I feel a little bit better now.

From the Vineyard


This fruit has been my essential salad ingredient for quite some time. My "Lettuce-Grape-Calamari" and "Penne-Vine Cold Pasta" became success stories to the people who ate it because of this key ingredient. As days go by, I try to explore different version of this fruit. With or without seeds. I often day dream that I am in France and jumping on all the grapes in the farm. Just like in the movie "A walk in the clouds." In the meantime, I'll just drink some wine and munch on some cold cuts, cheese and sweets.

Bon Appetit!

hugs,
joanie xxx