30 sen

auntie su. entah kenapa, tiap kali dgr nama tu. hati ni rasa, tawar, kelat.. namun masih hormat pdnya sebagai org yg lebih tua dr sy. tinggal semula di kl skrng, selalu teman mama ke rumah auntie nor. tp... rumah auntie nor dkt dgn auntie su. mama kerap jgk ajak ke rumah auntie su. tp sekali pon tak tergerak untuk pergi. dendam? bukan. tp, seawal umur 7-8 tahun, auntie su telah memberikan satu ingatan, bekas, yang tak terluput hingga saat ini. oh, lupa, auntie su dan auntie zai. tp, auntie su lebih memberi kesan mendalam kerana dulu, dialah penjaga sy ketika drjh 1- 2. hurm... bnyk jgk penjaga sy wkt kecil.

tamat wkt persekolahan, berlari - lari menaiki trak 3tan. rutin anak askar, pergi ke sekolah berdekatan naik feri sekolah. feri tu, bknlah feri utk menyeberangi laut. tp panggilan utk kenderaan besar yg digunakan sebagai pengangkutan sekolah. tinggal di sungai besi, sy hanya bersekolah di kawasan kem. sampai di rumah auntie su, makan dan bersiap utk ke sekolah agama. tp... hari itu. amat istimewa, sy membawa pulang hadiah yg diberikan oleh cikgu kerana mendapat tempat ke2 di dalam kelas utk peperiksaan... gembira sangat. tak sabar nak tunjuk pada mama dan abah.

seperti biasa, tiba di sekolah agama, auntie su akan bertanya. "aqilah ada duit tak?" sy akan ckp, "ada lg 30-40 sen. cukuplah nak beli ice cream 10sen dgn coklat 30sen". mmg itu sudah mencukupi buat sy dulu. namun, selalunya auntie su akan beri lg 30-40sen. sy menolak, tapi dia tetap memberi. akhirnya sy menerima dgn perasaan gembira. budak kecil. siapa tak suka dpt duit lebih? auntie zai selalu teman auntie su menghantar sy ke sekolah agama. sbb anak dia juga menumpang auntie su memandangkan kami pergi ke sekolah agama yg sama... namun. sy tak pernah lupa untuk mengucapkan terima kasih. mama sudah mendidik sy begitu...

lewat ptg itu. mama ambil sy pulang dr rumah auntie su. dgn kereta kancil warna ungu yang baru. sy gembira! terlalu gembira! kerana kereta baru mama telah sampai dan masa yang sama, sy teruja utk menunjukkan hadiah tempat ke2 sy. tiba di rumah, abah pulang dr kerja. waktu itu, sy masih tidur sebilik dgn mama dan abah. rumah banglo 2 tingkat tu, terlalu menakutkan buat sy yg masih kecil ketika itu... ingatan itu masih segar. tatkala sy menunjukkan hadiah sy kepada mama dan abah. namun apa yg sy harapkan, berakhir dgn tangisan sy...

"siapa ajar aqilah minta duit dengan org ??!!"

sambil menangis tersedu - sedu, sy berkata "aqilah tak minta...auntie su yg kasi"

"jgn bohong! mama dan abah tak pernah ajar minta duit dgn org"

air mata sy berjujuran... "aqilah tak minta... betul. aqilah tak tipu..."

hurmm... ketika menaip ini pun airmata dah betakung~ wawawa... sy tunduk. memandang pilu hadiah yang dilempar ke dinding oleh mama dan abah. hadiah itu tak memberikan apa - apa makna lagi. remuk. seperti hati sy yg remuk kerana abah dan mama mempercayai kata - kata auntie su. ya, auntie su mengadu pada mama dan abah yg sy hari - hari meminta duit pdnya. benar... sy masih ingt. dia yg memberi! sy menolak! kenapa memberi kalau tak ikhlas...tak perlu. sy bahagia dgn ice cream 10sen sy!!!

sejak itu. sy tak pernah menerima 1sen pun duit auntie su. masa berlalu... hingga saat ini. kalau mama dan abah bercerita ttg auntie su, sy rasa sakit. air mata sy bertakung. baru kini, bila sy besar, abah dan mama percaya sy tidak meminta duit org lain. auntie su? dia bercerai dgn suaminya. dan baru2 ni, mereka rujuk semula. tp, masih lg bermasalah. apa sy katakan? "padan muka. tak berkat hidup". benar bukan berdendam. cuma sakit. cuba fahami apa sy rasa seawal 8 tahun pd hari sy membawa hadiah pulang dengan penuh kegembiraan?

kali terakhir sy jumpa mereka ketika umur 17 tahun. itupun secara tak sengaja di sebuah BBQ di kem sungai besi. sy tak ingin bersalam pun. tp atas dasar hormat pd suruhan mama + hormat pd auntie su yg sudah semakin tua, sy bersalam. terus sy duduk jauh darinya. jauh. dia memuji, sy semakin besar dan matang. tapi sy hanya tersenyum kelat. hurmm... org ckp. ingatan kita wkt kecil tak akan ingt semua benda. tp. ada setengah benda, kita tak akan lupa seumur hidup kita. auntie su, aqilah dah lama maafkan auntie su. minta halal semua makan dan minum...terima kasih kerana memberi pengajaran yg tak akan dilupakan sampai bila - bila.

In the Slow Lane of the Organic Highway

This is my desire: I want to buy the healthiest fruits and vegetables, milk, and oils that I can afford. I want to make sure that they are not coated with pesticides and fungicides and that they come from land that was treated with respect and compost rather than chemical fertilizers and herbicides. Whether they are “certified organic” is not as important to me as whether I can talk to the farmer who grew them and ascertain for myself the story of the lettuce or the carrots. (Candy from Oak Hill Farm talking to a customer at the Sonoma Farmers Market.) I want the produce to have been grown in my area and to have traveled as little as possible to get to me. I want to eat what is in season as much as possible. And I want this kind of food to be available to everyone at prices everyone can afford.

For this piece, I’m going to focus on the organic part. I’ll get to the other parts (eating locally and seasonally, promoting sustainable systems, and the politics involved in everything) in subsequent blogs.

Like so many others, I have been slow to recognize the importance of making sure that the food I fix is safe. When I was first learning to cook in the 60s and 70s, it never occurred to me that the food might not be safe. The standard produce looked really good, and maybe it was. In contrast the tiny selection of organic was pretty pathetic (shrunken and discolored oranges, limp and unappetizing lettuce) and cost a lot more.

So what moved me to change my buying patterns? What forces nudged me toward buying more organic?

1. Two friends, Karyn (to the left) and Lisa, suggested ever so nicely that I might want to consider buying organic for the sake of my health and those I feed. Karyn is a big fan of the Tuesday afternoon Farmers Market in Berkeley and showed me around a couple of times. She has two kids and it is particularly important for her to feed them well. She de-mystified the process, though I continue to feel as though I need an extra set of hands to negotiate the shopping bags, plastic produce bags, money and my store list. Lisa who is chemically sensitive told me a lot about the chemicals that get into our bodies from eating food produced by agri-business farms. I trust her knowledge and judgment. Thanks to their nudging, I started buying organic milk and butter and occasionally went to the Berkeley Farmers Market.

2. I also started gathering more information. Groups like the Environmental Working Group and the Organic Consumers Association have serious e-newsletters that keep me abreast of the latest worries in terms of legislation and threats to our food system. EWG has a list of the Dirty Dozen, the fruits and vegetables with the most chemicals, and a list of those with the least. I carry these lists with me to the market. I’ve also read enough articles and books by Michael Pollan and others to convince me that we are in danger if we don’t change the way our food is produced. Recently I’ve switched to Organic Canola Oil. Don't get me started on genetically modified stuff.
















3. Finally I started going to the Sonoma Farmers Market on Friday morning or to The Patch farm stand whenever I am in town, store list in hand. Going to the Farmers Market is now part of my routine and I usually know what’s available and look forward to seeing what’s newly in season. I still feel as though I need an extra set of hands. When I’ve bought all I can, I go to my local grocery store, Sonoma Market, and buy the rest.

There are costs to switching to this new system. It takes time to stay informed. It takes more time to do the shopping; it is a two- or three-stop rather than one-stop shop. Right now I have the time to spend. And these beautiful fruits and vegetables are still more expensive, but I believe they contribute to my health and to the health and well-being of the farmers and the land producing them. So it's worth it to me.

My incremental steps have brought me a long way in the space of five or six years. Nudging from friends, educating myself, and making the new shopping practice part of my routine have really worked. I still have a ways to go. I don’t always buy organic. I still sometimes choose the cheaper alternative. But I am much more aware. I am in the slow lane of the organic highway, moving myself along, and I feel really good about it.

Three Pre-dinner Dips: Beige, Green and Black

North African Hummus
This is the best hummus in the world. I swear.

1 14 or 15 ounce can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
1/3 cup tahini paste, well stirred
¼ cup lemon juice (about 1 lemon)
2 teaspoon North African Spice Mix
2 garlic cloves, peeled and coarsely chopped
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste
Olive oil and sumac, optional

1. Place the chickpeas, tahini, lemon juice, North African Spice Mix, garlic, and olive oil in a food processor and purée until smooth. You may need to add a bit of water to make it a good spreading consistency.
2. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Can make ahead and chill. Return to room temperature for eating.
3. Place in a low bowl. Make a shallow indentation in the middle of the hummus. Pour in a bit of olive oil and sprinkle with sumac. Serve with Za’tar Spiced Pita.

6-8 servings as a dip before dinner

North African Spice Mix
This spice mix is a pain to make. But once it is done you have the fixings for multiple hummus mixtures in almost no time flat.

1 tablespoon cumin seeds, toasted and ground*
1 tablespoon coriander seeds, toasted and ground*
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1½ teaspoons ground fenugreek, toast and grind if you’re using chunky fenugreek
Note: You can leave it out if you can’t find it.
1 teaspoon ground ginger
½ teaspoon smoky sweet paprika or regular paprika
½ teaspoon smoky hot paprika or a pinch of cayenne

1. In a small bowl, combine all the ingredients and mix well.
2. Store in a glass jar (like an old spice jar), tightly covered. Label the jar with the contents or you’ll forget what it is. Or I should say, I would forget what it was.

*Note: You can use the previously ground kind as well.

Adapted from Andy Husbands’ and Joe Yonan’s The Fearless Chef

Za’tar Spiced Pita
















1 tablespoon za’tar
Note: This is available at most Middle Eastern or Persian food stores. Go to Zand’s on Solano in Albany, CA if you are in the Bay Area.
1 tablespoon olive oil
OR
1 tablespoon sumac or lemon zest
1 tablespoon white sesame seeds
2 teaspoons cumin seeds, toasted and ground
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1 teaspoon dried marjoram or oregano
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon olive oil

4 rounds of pita bread

1. Turn oven on broil with a rack set 4 to 6 inches from the top element.
2. Combine the purchased za’tar with the olive oil.
OR
Make the za’tar: in a small bowl, combine the sesame seeds, sumac, cumin, thyme, marjoram or oregano, and salt.
3. Measure out 1 tablespoon. Add the olive oil and blend well. Place the remaining za’tar in a glass spice jar and mark the contents for the next time.
4. Cut each round into 6-8 pieces. Arrange the pitas on a baking sheet and spread the za’tar and oil mixture evenly over each. You may not need all of your homemade za’tar mixture.
5. Broil until deep golden brown, 2 to 4 minutes, watching carefully and rotating the pan half way through to brown evenly. It can turn from toasted to burnt in an instant.
6. Serve with the hummus.

Adapted from Andy Husbands' and Joe Yonan’s The Fearless Chef

Green Olive Tapenade 
















2 cups pitted green olives
½ cup slivered almonds
1 garlic clove, coarsely chopped
2 tablespoons cilantro
2 tablespoons parsley
1 teaspoon lemon zest, finely chopped
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
1/3 cup olive oil, or less
Salt and pepper to taste

1. Look the olives over to see if any still has its pit. Remove and proceed. Combine olives, almonds, garlic, cilantro, parsley, and lemon zest in a food processor.
2. Pulse to combine. Add the olive oil with motor running. Process until the mixture is smooth.
3. Add lemon juice and mix. Add some pepper. Taste for salt but probably you won’t need much.
4. Serve with bread, corn chips, crackers or sliced cucumbers.

Makes about 1½ cups, 4-6 as a dip before dinner
Adapted from The Cakebread Cellers Napa Valley Cookbook

Fig and Black Olive Tapenade
















1 cup stemmed and quartered (about 6 ounces) dried Black Mission figs
1½ cups water
2 cups (1/2 pound) pitted Kalamata or Nicoise olives
Juice of 1 lemon
1½ tablespoons whole grain or smooth mustard
2 garlic cloves, chopped
1 tablespoon drained capers
2 teaspoons chopped fresh rosemary
2 tablespoons olive oil or more if necessary
Salt and pepper

1. In a heavy medium saucepan, combine the figs and water. Set over medium heat and bring to a simmer. Partially cover and cook, stirring once or twice, until the figs are very tender, about 30 minutes. Cool slightly, drain, reserving 2 tablespoons of the fig cooking liquid.
2. Look the olives over to see if any still has its pit. Remove and proceed. In a food processor, combine the figs, olives, lemon juice, mustard, garlic, capers, rosemary, and reserved 2 tablespoons of fig-cooking liquid. Pulse to create a thick paste. With the motor running, gradually add the oil. Season generously with pepper and add salt to taste, remembering the various salty ingredients.
Note: There is occasionally a pit in the pitted olives. Without having to check each olive before chucking it into the processor, pulse a couple of times at the beginning. You will hear the rattle of the pit. Stop immediately and retrieve it. Pulse another couple of times to make certain you have them all. Then full speed ahead.
3. Transfer to a storage container, cover, and refrigerate at least 24 hours to develop the flavors. But less time in the fridge is OK too.
4. Bring the tapenade to room temperature before serving. Serve with French bread, crackers, or pita chips.

Makes about 2½-3 cups, 8-10 as a dip before dinner
Adapted from Carrie Brown’s The Jimtown Store Cookbook

Second Try

As previously discussed, I haven't been doing some well with the cooking or blogging lately. So my whole "to cook" list for July didn't work out so well - I only made ONE item on the list (pie). I know it's technically August now, but I'm feeling slightly rejuvenated and I think I'm already off to a better start. I made some fresh pasta tonight (we'll talk more about that later) AND I have plans to make burgers this weekend. I'm going to take the other two off though - summer FINALLY seems to have arrived in Toronto and baked beans aren't exactly sounding appealing in 30-degree weather. Neither is the idea of standing over a hot vat of oil. So anyway, here is the August list:

Hamburgers - I'm going to make some nice homemade buns to go with these on the weekend. Yum!

Pasta - I know this is technically cheating since I already made it, but as it's August I'm going to leave it on, more so I can cross something off :)

Ice Cream - I don't have an ice cream maker but apparently you can do it without. I'm not expecting spectacular results but as I've never made homemade ice cream before (unless you count using my three-minute ice cream maker as a kid - man that thing was amazing) I'd like to try it

Chipwich - I'm not sure if these are still around anymore but I haven't seen any in recent years. If you don't know what a chipwich is, it's just an ice cream sandwich made with chocolate chip cookies, and rolled in chocolate chips. It's delicious, and I'm going to make some!

Brioche (with chocolate) - I don't really think I need to explain myself here. Bread - good. Bread with chocolate - better.

Go on a date!

Date to lose weight? Yep! But don’t get married, nope. I blogged about marriage and weight gain in the past, and unfortunately for love, the two go hand-in-hand.

A study performed by psychologist Meredith Young, PhD found that women who eat a meal with a man...eat less. Women eating in large groups, however, tend to eat more and also consume foods which are more calorically dense [1]. Anyone see the Sex and the City episode where Carrie calls Miranda to meet at “their spot,” a local grease pit. Here Miranda and Carrie gossip over extra large pizza slices into the wee hours of the night. Always an exception to the study results!

Men, however, are a hold different beast. They, unlike women, do not vary their intake based on their company. Young’s research found that neither companions nor the gender makeup of the group had any impact on what men consumed. The results were all published online in the journal Appetite [1].

During the study, it was found that the average caloric intake for a meal was 716 calories for men and 609 calories for women. When women ate with men, they consumed 552 calories, but when eating with other women, the women consumed 665 calories – more than they would’ve consumed eating on their own. When a woman eats in a mixed group, she also eats less than when eating with only other women. Young explains, “As soon as there is a man in the mix, the amount of calories a woman eats decreases” [1].

How many women is too many? When three women dine together, they intake an average of 650 calories. When a fourth woman is added – the damage goes up to 800 calories a piece. Wowza!

The logic? Sarah-Jeanne Salvy, PhD and assistant professor of pediatrics at the State University of New York at Buffalo explains that people often manipulate the amount of food they eat to “convey a positive impression.” She goes on to say that “eating like someone else would be integrating yourself” while women eating in front of men commonly consume less in order to appear more feminine and in control [1].

Similarly, Salvy found that overweight children who eat in the presence of their overweight friends eat more than those who eat with someone they don’t know. Does it have to be an overweight friend that’s making us eat more? Nope. Salvy found that whether it be a friend or a complete stranger, the fact that their company was overweight was enough drive for the individual to consume more [1]. Subconsciously, of course.

Just something to be aware of…but you may want to eat in a closet just in case!

[1]. Doheny, Kathleen. Ladies’ Night Out A Diet Wrecker. WebMD Health News. August 5, 2009.

Pork Pie

Full many a glorious morning I have seen
Flatter the mountain tops with sovereign eye.
Kissing with golden face the meadows green,
Gliding pale streams with heavenly pork pie

William Shakespeare, Sonnet 33

We are a nation of pie lovers. That is undeniable.



From steaming hot meat and potato pies that grace chip suppers across the north to the crescent shaped Cornish pasty of the south, if it’s a scorching filling wrapped in artery clogging pastry, we adore it.

Legislative affirmation of this fact came just last month when the legendary Melton Mowbray pork pie was finally granted Protected Geographical indication by the EU.

It now stands proudly alongside such luminaries as Parmesan Cheese and Champagne. Only pork pies from Melton Mowbray can be labelled as such. Anything else is a mere pretender.

But pretenders aren’t necessarily a bad thing when they originate in your own kitchen.

Recent dispatches from New York saw me trying to re-create some of the tasty food that was consumed there. It was great fun, making pizzas and bagels and hot dogs and cheeseburgers.

So much so that it got me thinking – why not try it more often, with things that originate closer to home. Why not try to create in the home kitchen those foodie treats we know and love: doner kebabs, pink wafer biscuits, custard creams, marshmallows.

By using excellent ingredients and leaving out all the unnecessary bits and bobs it should be possible to cook versions of these treats to rival anything that can be found on the shelves. Artifice by more natural means.

Before I get started on the big things, I wanted to start small. Keep it simple.

If my girlfriend and I are ever out and attacked by hunger pangs it inevitably falls not to a chocolate bar to quell the cravings but to a pork pie.

There is something so satisfying about the combination of heavily seasoned meat housed in a crunchy yet melting pastry that just makes us smile. It is a rare treat, but a treat nonetheless.



We’ve been hunting for the perfect pie for a while. One whose meat:pastry ratio is spot on and where the jelly doesn’t overwhelm you with its strangely appealing yet vaguely disgusting texture. It’s a fine pie tight rope to tread and some get it right.

Others fail miserably. Hopefully now that the pork pie has some certification it will mark an end to any disappointments.

Recipe: Pork Pie

This isn’t a traditional pie. This is me freestyling, throwing caution to the wind and rolling easy. The result? A perfect picnic item, great served with homemade chutney, just erring on the side of sweetness.



For the filling you’re going to need some pork. Don’t scrimp here. Toddle over to your friend the butcher and ask him for some fatty shoulder or hand meat. While you’re at it inquire politely about acquiring some bacon offcuts. They shall be your new best friend and work out about a quarter of the price of regular bacon.

[I cannot believe I just shared my best culinary secret with you.]

Oh, and ask him to throw in a couple of pig’s trotters too, you’re going to need them later.

Once you’ve got hold of your meat, head home, turn on the stereo and get cooking.

800g pork hand (or shoulder) meat
300g cooking bacon (smoked or unsmoked, dependent on your preference)
Two trotters
A couple of onions
1 litre or so of chicken stock
Thyme, finely chopped
Sage, finely chopped
Cayenne Pepper
Ground ginger
Allspice
Nutmeg
Salt and pepper

For the pastry (taken from HFW’s Meat Book):
100g lard
100g butter
200ml water
Two eggs
550g plain flour

Your first job is to make the jelly. Split the trotters down the vertical and them to the stock and the onions in a pan, bring to the boil and let it simmer gently for about three hours.

Next up, make the pastry. Melt the lard and butter into the water over a gentle heat. Don’t boil it. Sift the flour into a large mixing bowl, crack in the eggs and stir them in. Gently pour the water/butter/lard mix into a glass, take a big sip and pour the rest over the flour and egg. Mix together until a dough forms, knead for a couple of minutes. It may need more flour. When you have a verifiable dough cover it with cling film and get it into the fridge.

Finally, you’re going to need to dice the meat. Finely. And that means small. You could cheat and mince it but who wants a pie filled with sausage meat? Sharpen your favourite knife, crank up the music and get chopping.

Once you’ve transformed your great hulks of meat into delicately fine dice, it will need seasoning. When cold, food can taste bland – as such be generous with the seasoning, especially the salt. I’d go for a teaspoon of sea salt as well as a pinch of everything else and a good grind of pepper.

To check the seasoning, fry a little of the mixture off like a mini-burger and taste it (it’s a hard job but someone has to do it). Adjust as required.

By now your pastry should be cool and far more workable than it was before when it was all warm. Take a cricket ball sized handful (or a baseball if that’s your thing) and roll it into a vaguely spherical shape.

Squidge the bottom of a jam jar into the dough-ball and start working it up the edges:



Don’t be too precious – this is a pie, not something to grace the plate of a three star Parisian temple to haute cuisine. Once you have a rough outline, ease the jar free and pile in the filling. When you think it’s full, add another spoonful and ease the pastry around it.



Cut off a piece of dough about the size of a ping-pong ball (gawd bless sporting analogies), roll into a disc and top your pie. Crimp the edges together, brush the top with beaten egg, poke a hole in the lid and place into a roasting tray.

Repeat until out of dough or filling or both.



Bake at 180 degrees C for thirty minutes then turn the oven down to 150 degrees and bake for another twenty minutes.

Leave to cool on a wire rack and tend to your jelly. Trotters, being jam packed with gelatin, make an excellent jelly after simmering away gently for a couple of hours.

Strain your stock through a fine meshed sieve, return to the heat and reduce by about a third. To see if it is ready, spoon off a little of the stock in a small cup and refrigerate. If it sets, it’s ready. If not, carry on cooking.

Once the pies have cooled down you’ll need to get the liquid jelly into them, a procedure that those of you unskilled in veterinarian sciences might find tricky. I improvised with a syringe. I’ll leave it to you to find the best way (pouring is not, repeat not, the best way).



Try and resist the temptation to bite into your pies before they’ve been refrigerated overnight. They are best eaten outdoors with a picnic blanket under your arse and a bottle of something cold and beery in your hand.

For more high fat delights, follow me on Twitter.

my kind of boy...

Tag from Hawa

Now, here's what you're supposed to do, and please do not spoil the fun. Copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type in your answers and tag 20 of your friends here in facebook to answer this. Then see what happens.

if you a guy- post this as my kind of girl...

if your a girl- post it as my kind of boy...

1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?

'good looking' means... nice to see. aite? jgnla selekeh x mandi tuh~ uhuu...

2. Smart?

with high sense of common sense + humor... cheywah~

3. Preferred age?

love those with same age / 1-2 years older. but mama told me... "cari yg matang skit"

4. Preferred height?

haha... taller than me. IT' A MUST~! XD

5. How about sense of humor?

hehe... erm. mesti adew. kalo x, x best la gelak sorang2.

6. How about piercings?

no no no... friend, i don't mind. but special friend? no dear.

7. Accepts you for who you are?

obviously yes... kalo x, sila angkt kaki dan blahhh.

8. Pink hair?

nope~

9. Mushy or no?

that depends on the situation. [sebijikkk dgn hawa]

10. Thin or fat?

not too thin. not too fat. i don't really care act.

11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?

it's depends.

12. Long hair or short hair?

short. and... if it's gonna be long, it depends on how long.

13. Plastic or metal? * cute or pretty ?

cute / pretty based on his attitude.

14. Smells good?

yesss yesss yesss.

15. Smoker?

wahahah... NO. that's for SURE.

16. Drinker?

NO

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?

t hee. yup-yup. i just want an ordinary guy with an extraordinary heart. =]

18. Muscular?

a lil will be fine. none? will be ok. lot? NOOO.

19. Plays piano?

haha... not necessary.

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?

it's a bonus if he can.

21. Plays violin?

haha...ske hati die la.

22. Sings very good?

that's not a matter. tp mmg la best kalo ade org suare best nyanyikan best2 utk kte. kan?

23. Vain?

erm... nope.

24. With glasses?

hahahahah... owhhh x kesah. btol x kesah.

25. With braces?

x kesah jgk. nnt bukak jgk.

26. Shy type?

well, depends.

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?

combination of both... hehe.

28. Active or passive?

active! active! active!

29. Tight or bomb? * hot or sexy ?

hot hot.

30. Singer or dancer?

singer.

31. stunner?

with his smile. thats enough.

32. Hiphop?

not really. 50-50.

33. Earrings?

NO NO NO.

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-un

til-you-drop?

NOPE.

35. Dimples?

-

36. Bookworm?

ermmm... yg sedang sedang je.

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?

not really...

38. Playful?

depends on situation.

39. Flirt?

just with me ;) [setuju dgn hawa~!]

40. Poem writer?

no need.

41. Serious?

when he needs to.

42. Campus crush?

no

43. Painter?

no larh~

44. Religious?

nak yg taw tnggjwb wajib but tammo yg over2...

45. Someone who likes to tease people?

hahahaha... yes. he is. but, pun same. tammo over2.

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak

erm. some1 who's not too addicted to any.

47. Speaks 20 languages?

ha'ah.... yer. kawin dgn kamus dewan la~

48. Loyal or faithful?

same je kan? mesti la maw 2-2.

49. good kisser?

simply irresistible

50. emotional or cool ?

based on situation, too.

additional * [dari hawa kot? haha...]

enter your crusher's name...

so that she/he will know wat u think bout her/him.

t heeeeeee... erm. erm. erm.

kalau ade la. die pon taw sape die.

TAMAT XD

Struggling Against Failure

We all face this in our lifetime, whether its big or small, memorable or not, we will face it.
and at times this may force us to feel low, sad and grief, its not the end... its the beginning.

failure is always nearby, and below is a video that shows how a young boy face failure in a race.



running as fast as he can, he was in the lead when he trip, there he know is will fall behind but he had a choice to stay of continue the race. he got up and knowing that he must pick up speed, his mind travel faster then his legs did, and after a few steps he fell again. this time his body feels so heavy to stand, feeling the shame of tripping again. this time a choice knock on his door , to stay safe or to keep going on? he stood up and again he ran so fast that sad to say, he trip yet again. 3times fallen is just to many for one, he think of now that he does not want to run. in his heart a voice echos, get-up and win your place, and for some reason, the boy says if i run i will not win the race, but if i stay i will never finish the race. for that the boy got up, and even knowing that he is not in 1st place, he keep running with faith that he will finish this race. at the end he did, even at last place, the crowd Cheer him on like he won the race.

the winner is not who got 1st place, but its the person that gets up every time to finish their race.
Failure is not the end, its the beginning