Tonight we said goodbye to a friend, and a former lover, someone who we had been mentioned in two of our blog posts, and James in at least one of his.
Special Someone. While his identity must remain a 100% secret, we can tell you that he is one of our followers on Twitter, and he reads our blogs. We met him on Twitter and had only said a few words to each other here and there, then one day while we were live tweeting a stalking of Fuck Face…he began DMing us a lot, and it progressed from sharing that he had many the same thoughts about people and society, to saying it would be fun to have us stalk him. We obliged, of course, because it was a fun thing to try…we only knew what he looked like vaguely from his avi, but we knew he was attractive; and then one day we figured out where he worked. He didn't know what we looked like exactly but when we passed him on the sidewalk the first time our stalking "hit the target", we both knew it was each other. We’ll always remember one of the first things he e-mailed to us after that, that of course we were "way out of [his[ league", but we knew we weren't. We had been talking to him for weeks, we’d gotten to know a lot about him, and we knew he was a kind, broken soul...and he also a hottie, he just couldn't admit it.
We met Special Someone in real life (though he’d been our follower for some time) about the exact same time we met James on Twitter (May of this year). Most of our time spent with Special Someone where fleeting moments in a special location after he was done with work, talking and kissing; a couple of make-out sessions in our office at work; a few walks; and a couple of evenings laying in the grass in a local park, talking about life, laughing and just being together. Only once did we ever share an evening with him, and wake up in his arms.
A couple of us where in love with him, and despite the fact we met him and James around the same time, and he knew all about James, James knew nothing about him until our State of the Union entry, written right before he was to arrive in our city in July to spend a month with us. James was upset, and we knew he had a right to be, even though we were not dating at that point; but at least we were honest with him. We only saw Special Someone for a short bit of time, once, while James was here (James actually mentioned him in a couple of his blog entries).
Tonight was only the second time we’ve seen Special Someone since right before we got fired from our job at the end of July. He is a beautiful man, who fell in love with us, and a couple of us with him; however due to many things in his life he was not able to have a relationship with us. Read that how you want.
After about 20 minutes of talking in our usual spot, laughing sadly, him asking us about our plans, our big adventur; and after several long tearful hugs, because we had all come to the conclusion that this would be our last goodbye, he confirmed the feelings we suspected he had had for us, that he had made clear to us, without saying the words out loud, many times. As he pressed the elevator button, looking at us for the last time with his beautiful eyes…he told us that we had guessed right, about how he felt. With tears gently spilling over our cheeks, we told him we were sorry if any of us had hurt his feelings by making the decision(s) we did.
“I’m just glad we had time together” he said, the sad look in his eyes.
As he stepped into the elevator and turned back to us, we blew him a tearful kiss goodbye and waved.
"Take care of yourself” he said. We nodded our head...and he was gone.
We walked home, thinking about the times we had spent with him, when we met him, the giddiness some of us had felt, and all the other feelings in between we had shared about him, we cried and sipped our wine.
The air has grown chilly in our city, so we wore different clothes than we usually would have – nothing like our summer dresses, but we know that's how he will remember some of us; and as we passed the fountain we played in several time this past summer, wine in one hand, Twitter in the other, we noticed the water had been drained…looking around the city, some of the trees are actually changing. Fall is upon us. Change is here. James will be here on Tuesday, we will start a new life, all of us, finally...all of us...together...for the first time in our life.
We cried and lamented about the summer we had, about how far we have come, how far we have to go….this year had been something else, this year had been something else…and it’s not even over yet.
We’ll miss you, Special Someone. The poem that was started for you will be finished someday; the ending and tone will just be a little different, but the sentiment the same. We will never forget you, friend.
~Cassandra, Catherine, Emmie & Frank
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