Matzoh Rant

We eat a lot of matzoh during the week of Passover.  A lot of it.  That's because we can't eat bread or anything made with regular flour or anything leavened (which eliminates baking powder or baking soda).  No wheat products.  Period.

I know you're probably thinking this is no big deal.

But wait - no bread?  No cereal?  (What the heck do you eat for breakfast?  You can't eat eggs every day unless you want to kill yourself).  NO BEER????

Okay, so matzoh isn't a substitute for beer.  But it stands in for cereal and matzoh meal (yuck) stands in for flour in a pinch.  And then there is the vast quantity of matzoh you have to consume at your Passover Seder, or in our case, two Passover Seders.  By the end of the week, you are sick of the stuff.

If you've never had the pleasure, matzohs are large, flat, dry (very dry) crackers.  Let me repeat that:  VERY DRY.  We eat them at our Passover Seder with harosses (a yummy mixture of apples, nuts and cheap Manischewitz sweet wine) and that killer horseradish I told you about in the last post.  It sounds bizarre, but it's actually good.  Of course, I guess that horseradish would kill the taste of anything.

And another thing.  No one agrees on how to spell it.  Matzo?  Matzoh?  Matzah?  I'm sticking to "matzoh" and I don't care if that's politically correct or not!

But here's the dirty little secret no one will tell the uninitiated.  If you eat too much matzoh, you will never have to visit the bathroom again.  Ever. 

To quote my friend Dick, that's all I'm sayin'.....

So in the spirit of matzoh overload I offer up my recipe for Matzoh Toffee.  Try it, you'll like it!

MATZOH TOFFEE

1 box matzoh (about 15 pieces)
2 cups unsalted butter
2 cups light brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon butter
2 cups sliced almonds
1 tablespoon kosher salt
3 12-oz. bags good quality chocolate chips, melted

Line two baking sheets (I used half sheet pans) with matzoh, cutting to fit as necessary.

In a medium saucepan, melt butter, sugar and salt over medium heat, stirring frequently.  Keep cooking until large bubbles form, then cook for 1 minute longer.  Remove from heat and pour mixture over matzoh, dividing evenly.  Let cool.

Meanwhile, melt the 1 tablespoon of butter in a skillet.  Add almonds and salt and cook over medium heat, stirring frequently until almonds are just golden.  Remove from heat and cool slightly.

Spread melted chocolate over the cooled caramel mixture on matzohs.  Sprinkle evenly with almonds and let matzoh sit for at least 30 minutes.

Break into pieces.  Try not to eat the bits that fall away.

Yield:  enough for two Seders

Note:  this will not be pretty.  Some of the matzoh will separate from the caramel layer, but who cares?  Just piece it back together and no one will know the difference.  Also, the 1 tablespoon of salt sounds like A LOT in the almonds, but it works.