Boiled Tongue

As far as titles go, the above is probably about as enticing as ‘How to Par-tay the Mormon Way’ but bear with me on this one. Please.

Granted, taken in turn neither of the two words is particularly exciting and together they create some sort of force field that for many will result in the gag reflex kicking in with gusto. Admittedly even I approached this one with a small amount of trepidation.

Like a badly executed kiss, it started with a tongue. A great big flapping, fresh, wet, grey, spikey tongue. Curled up on the chopping board it resembled some sort of Mephistophelean re-imagining of an evil pet, like a prop from an early David Cronenberg film.



Its size, its weight, its appearance, its texture – everything conspired against it becoming a foodstuff were it not for the good reports I’d had regarding its utter brilliance when cooked.

Although technically offal, there is no reason why tongue should provoke such revulsion. It is muscle in the same way topside or fillet steak is muscle. However, due to the amount of work it does – daily tearing kilos of fresh grass from the earth – it needs some serious cooking. To stop it from drying out it also needs brining. I gave it 5 days but if you’re tempted to try this at home (please do) I’d let it spend at least a week in the brine bucket, possibly even ten days.

To stop it being overly salty it went into fresh water for 24 hours before being slung into the stock pot along with the usual suspects – carrot, celery, onion, garlic, peppercorns and a couple of bay leafs.



Four hours at the merest quivering simmer was enough to cook it through. I’d been reliably informed (thank you once again Fergus Henderson) that tongue is easier to peel (!) when still warm. Even so, a sharp knife was necessary and the process was more of a paring than a peeling. Although not a pleasant process by the time the tough barbed outer skin was removed what sat in front of me was recognisably meat that looked at least as good as a slab of tasty salt beef.

Which is exactly what it was.

Assuming that it would be best fresh from the cooking pot and still warm, it was thinly sliced and crammed into a bagel along with a generous slick of mayonnaise, a handful of rocket and some sliced pickles. The whole lot was topped, inevitably, with the lurid yellow mustard so reminiscent of New York’s finest culinary offerings.



By now any feelings of trepidation had long since evaporated and the first bite was an adventurously large one. It was delicious. It’s as simple as that. Perhaps made even more so by the timidity with which it approached. ‘Under promise and over deliver’ seems to be the mantra of marketing. If so, tongue is the marketer’s dream. Don’t be surprised if it joins cheeks, shanks and trotters in the ‘forgotten cuts’ section of supermarket. Now that will set tongues wagging.

Bagels!

Bagels have been on my "To Bake" list for some time now. Ever since I realized this was something you COULD do at home, it's been hanging out in the back of my mind as something to try. But I kept putting it off. There are a lot of steps involved in bagel-making, which made it somewhat intimidating. Not to mention the fact that you really need two days from start to finish. Time is always an issue with me an bread-baking, so I was always thinking "maybe next weekend..."

Enter Father's day weekend. My dad is a diabetic with a pretty terrible sweet tooth. He's constantly trying to sneak sugar and other things he can’t eat when no one's paying attention. White bread products are an issue. He refuses to eat whole wheat bread and loves cinnamon raisin bagels even though the store-bought variety is chock-full of sugar.

Anyway, I figured that I'd be in Ancaster for two days with no real plans. Why not make my own bagels with (some) whole wheat flour and less sugar so that my dad could enjoy them without guilt?

I started these on Saturday evening and finished them Sunday morning. I followed mostly the Smitten Kitchen version of Peter Reinhart's bagel recipe.

Let me just say, I was SO excited about finally making my own bagel during the entire process. So excited in fact, that I may have deliriously made some adjustments to the recipe that probably weren’t a great idea. Like substittuing the malt syrup with molasses. The recipe specified malt power OR syrup OR brown sugar. I didn’t have the first two, but I had just bought some molasses and I figured...brown sugar is sugar WITH molasses...why not? This didn’t turn out terribly but the molasses definitely added their own flavour that wasn’t exactly bagel-y. And deciding that lining my pans with flour instead of cornmeal was okay (I only did this for the proofing and refrigeration, on Sunday morning I realized that my parents DID have cornmeal and used that for the baking step). The flour stuck to the dough and made white clumps form on some of the bagels during the boiling step. But anyway, overall the bagels did turn out quite well. They were a bit flatter than I would have liked, and I probably won’t use molasses next time. But the flavour was still quite nice and the bagels were so nicely chewy and soft. Plus, the cinnamon raisin ones tasted great. And I finally made BAGELS!


Bagels!

Sponge
1 ½ tsp active dry yeast
4 cups bread flour
2 ½ cups room temperature water

Dough
½ tsp active dry yeast
2 cups whole wheat flour
1 ¾ cups bread flour
2 ¾ tsp salt
2 tsp malt powder OR 1 tbsp dark or light malt syrup, honey, or brown sugar (I used molasses...)

I split the dough in half and added also:
1 cup california raisins
1 tsp cinnamon
2 tbsp brown sugar
a bit more molasses for that "swirl" look
Cornmeal or semolina for dusting

1. Make the sponge: combine yeast and water, stir until the yeast is dissolved. Add the flour and whisk until you have a thick pancake-batter like consistency. Cover with plastic wrap and leave in a warm place for about 2 hours, or until it has at least doubled in size and is bubbly.

2. Stir in the remaining yeast, then 3 cups of the remaining flour. Stir until the ingredients form a ball. I will say that if you’re doing this by hand (as I was) this is pretty hard. You’re going to have to put some muscle into it to really get a ball going. I gave up pretty quickly and just started mixing witih my hands until I pretty much had a ball.

3. Dump the dough out onto a lightly floured countertop and knead for at least 10 minutes (I ended up kneading for about 15). Knead in the remaining ¾ cup of flour to stiffen as you go. The dough should be smooth and not too tacky by the time you’re done, and feel fairly stiff. A few minutes into the kneading I also split my dough and added the ingredients for cinnamon raison bagels to half of the dough.

4. Divide the dough into 4 ½ ounce pieces, or smaller if desired (I did 3 ounces)

5. Cover the dough balls with a damp cloth and let rest about 20 minutes

6. Lightly grease a few cookie sheets with oil, and sprinkle with cornmeal (this is where i made that flour error: do not repeat my mistake)

7. Shape bagels: Just take the balls, poke a hole through with your thumb and widen gently untli they look like bagels. I didn’t measure mine so I’m not exactly sure how large they were.

8. Place bagels on the cookie sheets, cover with plastic wrap and let rest for 20-30 minutes at room temperature

9. At this point, you’re supposed to do the “float test” to make sure that they float. Take a bagel and drop into warm/room temperature water and see if it floats within 10 seconds. Though I’ve read at a few places that they didn’t do this (or let the dough rest at all before refrigerating) and the bagels floated fine, so I’m not sure just HOW necessary this step is.

10. Refrigerate bagels for 12-24 hours

11. Bring a large pot of water to a boil. You’re going to want to use your widest pot for this so that you can fit in as many bagels as possible at a time. I ended up using a deep wok because it was wider than any pot that my mom had, and it seemed easier than using a deep pot. I had no issues.

12. Add 1 tsbp of baking powder to boiling water

13. Boil bagels for 1-2 minutes per side, in batches. I think I ended up boiling for about a minute and a half per side. Remove with a slotted spoon and place back on baking sheets lined with cornmeal. If you’re adding any more toppings at this point, do it immediately after removing from the water so that the toppings stick.

14. Bake in a preheated oven at 400 degrees farenheit for 5 minutes, rotate 180 degrees and continue baking for another 5 minutes. I think I baked for about another 5 minutes because they weren’t so dark by the end of this.

15. Let cool for about 15 minutes before serving.

Eating New York: Bagels in the Park (+recipe)

Sundays need barely a few elements to combine in simple cohesion in order to create delicious perfection.



Gone are the days when it signalled ‘weekend over, back to school tomorrow. Time to knuckle down and finish that essay you were set a fortnight ago.’

Now, Sunday is the most sacrosanct day of the week, although not through any religious conviction. It’s a day when it is equally acceptable to do nothing under the proviso of doing something or vice versa.

And it is near effortless to craft these idyllic days thanks to the fluidity of the composite elements. The first drink could be a cool glass of orange juice, a steaming black coffee, a bloody mary or even a pint of water complete with an energetically fizzy 1000mg vitamin C tablet, depending on the previous night’s excesses.

Breakfast might be a bacon sandwich, softly scrambled eggs or even a bowl of Bircher muesli.

For activity sometimes a walk will suffice, or a run if energy levels permit. Other weekends might present gardening opportunities or lazy afternoons in the pub.

Food rolls in and out of Sundays too, paying little regard to any rules or regulations. Barbecues, slow cooked braises or Sunday roasts are all equally welcome. Cake, too, can be an excellent addition.

But there is one unwavering rule: there must be a newspaper. At least one.

Even though we were a few thousand miles from home, we obeyed this single commandment with near military precision. And everyone knows that newspapers are at their best when enjoyed over breakfast.

It was warm, despite the early hour. We ambled towards the port, through Hell’s Kitchen, in search of H&H Bagels, a baker's that appears to have a near legendary reputation. On the way we met a parade of street hawkers trudging their carts through the early morning sun towards their pitches where they would spend the next 12 hours selling hot dogs, kebabs and other assorted snacks to hungry passers-by.

The bakery itself is an unassuming, industrial looking building. Fridges filled with juice, iced tea, butter and cream cheese line one wall and in front is a counter topped with a Plexiglas cabinet crammed full of bagels.

We picked out some cream cheese, a carton of Tropicana and ordered three at the counter.

On the way to Central Park we picked up a copy of the New York Times, weighty with its supplements, and two large iced coffees. Once there we ambled gently towards the centre, picked out a quiet, shaded spot and proceeded to consume what was in front of us.

Two hours later, full of dough, cream cheese and media, we picked ourselves up, dusted ourselves down and allowed the remainder of the weekend to carry us along. Sunday, brilliant Sunday.

Bagels: The recipe

Before I even took my first bite of a genuine New York bagel, my girlfriend said to me: ‘This will ruin all future bagels for you, you know? I hope you’re prepared for that.’

She was right. To a certain extent.

Soon after we got back, I bought a stack from the supermarket. Lacking the firm chewiness of those we’d had in Central Park a few days earlier, they were thin, floppy and light with a processed taste and texture. The Paris Hilton of the bread world.

What I wanted was something with more resistance, more pull. And a more flavour.

Searching for recipes I came across two that appeared to tick the necessary boxes: this one via Slate (no eggs) and another from Shaun Hill (two eggs), he of Merchant House fame. Gaining confidence in my baking abilities, I chose to combine the two and split the difference hoping it would create some sort of super-bagel.

It did. I can safely say, without any degree or hyperbole, that these are the best bagels I’ve ever tasted. Ever.

Makes 10 generously sized bagels.

500g + 50-100g white bread flour
two teaspoons of dried yeast
one teaspoon of salt
50g caster sugar
two eggs (one for the mixture and one for glazing)
450ml of warm water

For the water bath:
3 litres of water
2 tablespoons of sugar

Whatever toppings your little heart desires


Mix together 500g of flour, the yeast, the salt and 50g of sugar in a large mixing bowl, preferably one you can clip into a mixer with a dough hook, unless you want to knead a sticky dough.

Pour in the water and stir until it is worked in. Add the egg. Add a further 50g of flour and start the mixer on a low speed. Let it run for five minutes then check the consistency of the dough. If it looks too sticky then add a little more flour until it just combines into a workable dough.

Knead for a further 5-10 minutes (NB here is where my Kenwood made a loud ‘snap’ noise and started farting a nasty grey smoke from its rear end. Cue panic tinged with excitement at the prospect of having to use the mini fire extinguisher for the first time).

Once the dough is ready, transfer it to an oiled bowl, cover and leave for an hour or so to prove and double in size.

Use this time wisely. Perhaps call your Grandma, draw a pretty picture or tweak your CV.

After the well-used sixty minutes, turn out the dough onto a floured surface (it’s another sticky one) and knock out the air, sprinkling flour over where necessary. Cut the dough into ten to twelve equal sized pieces and shape each one into a vague round shape. Leave for another ten minutes.



Flatten each one with the palm of your hand then poke a finger, it doesn’t matter which – I used my index finger, into the middle of each roll thus creating a bagel. Wiggle it around a little and neaten up the shape. Leave for another ten minutes. Yawn.

Meanwhile, bring a large pan full of water to the boil. Add the sugar and turn down the heat to a gentle simmer. Boil the bagels two or three at a time for about a minute. Flip them after half that time so they cook evenly on each side.

Lift them out and put them onto a waiting towel to dry off. Transfer to a tray, brush with beaten egg and cook for 15 minutes at 200 degrees C, or until they are golden brown and delicious looking.



Eat as soon as you can handle one without doing a little dance and going ‘ooo, ah, shit, that hurts’.

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