Hello everybody, for this post im gonna share a worth knowledge about communication. All of this materials are taken from a precious book that i bought in book fair, "YOU ARE THE MESSAGE" by Roger Ailes with Jon Kraushar. Hopefully it helps you for being a better person or even better communicator. Enjoy!
#1 : YOU ARE THE MESSAGE
The Good News
Now that I've told you what your goal should be, let me give you the good news. You can become as good as some of the people you admire on TV. And, assessing your skills can be fun, because it helps you to know yourself better. It also improves your relationships with the people around you. In short, it helps you get what you want.
One important note : you can't rely on other people to change themselves to accommodate you. That's a strategy--with your composite message. If there is a misunderstanding between the communicator (you) and the "communicatee" (your audience), it's the communicator's fault. This requires that you take complete responsibility for the flow of communications, wether you're speaking or listening. This is good news, because it empowers you to be, in effect, in charge, of every communications situation you're in. You can change the mood and the flow of the communications exchange.
Hopeless?
Bob Hope taught me that lesson when i was young 23-year-old asociate producer of "The Mike Douglas Show." I unexpectedly met Hope when he was on a media tour to promote his book "I Owe Russia Twelve Hundred Dollars." I say unexpectedly because Hope was passing through Cleveland, Ohio, where our then-local shiw was produced, when his publicist suddenly called us to say that the great comedian would appear on your program. In the sort of chance that can make or break young person's career, all the producers senior to me were either ill or out of town on business when we got the chance to have Bob Hope as our star guest. I was so inexperienced that I thought that management would cancel the show rather than let me take charge, but they gambled on me.
Hope arrived at the front door of the television station with a large entourage of public relations people, local friends, and hangers-on. I was pretty intimidated. I knew Bob Hope's appearance could be the critical showpiece performance to help catapult "The Mike Douglas Show" into national syndication. As I met Hope, I mumbled nearly incoherently in trying to explain the show to him. Many of the people hanging around Hope were rolling their eyes as if to say, "Who is this kid and what are we doing here?"
I was too scared to say so, but I really wanted Hope to stay for our entire 90-minute show and sing, dance, and joke around. He wanted to plug his book and leave in five minutes. In the middle of my stammering, Hope grabbed my shoulders and steered me away from the others through a doorway into the scenery shop of the television station. Suddenly Bob Hope and I were alone.
He looked at me and said, "Kid, I know nothing about your show. I've never been on it and I don't know what you expect me to do. It's very important for you to speak up and tell people exactly what you want. I'm a big enough star to refuse whatever you request, if I decide to. But if I don't even know what you want, there's no way I can give it to you. Now tell a little bit about the program and the host, when I'm on, where I enter, and what's expected of me."
I realized in a flash that I had one chance and had better go for it. I admitted to Hope that I was not the producer but that an awful lot depended on his staying for the entire program, to entertain as well as to plug his book.
He started to laugh and said, "The network is paying me a hundred thousand dollars to do that." He patted me on the shoulder and said "Okay, now that I know what you want, I'll let you know what I'll do later. Let's see how it goes. In the meantime, just tell me when and where I go on."
As it turned out, Bob Hope stayed for the entire show. Once he was in front of the audience his natural performer instincts took over. He enjoyed Mike, they sang a duet, Bob danced and joked with the audience. his command performance undoubtedly helped "The Mike Douglas Show" later to be sold into national syndication.
After the show, as he was leaving, he saw me and said, "How'd I do, kid?"
"You were great, Mr. Hope."
He turned and pointed at me, "Next time, speak up." He smiled and left.
I never forgot that lesson--and I've never been afraid to speak to anyone else since then. It's your responsibility--not your listener's--to insure that your message gets through, and if you don't speak up, people can't help you get what you want.
Let me demonstrate with one simple example. If you say to me, "I'll never lie to you," but you're looking at the floor when you say it, I could doubt that message or at least wonder, "Why doesn't he look at me when he says that? maybe he's not telling the truth."
On the other hand, if you take charge and look me in the eye, the statement becomes not only believable but also reassuring, strong, and positive.
Happy To Be Here
The words you choose to speak are important, but they're just part of your message. However, many people think that their words are the whole message. Corporate executives are famous for this. They often get up and send all sorts of weird signals to their audience. My favorite is, "Ladies and gentleman, I'm very happy to be here." But they're looking at their shoes as they say it. They have no enthusiasm whatsoever. They look either angry, frightened, or depressed about being there.
In fact, they're often only reading these words. So, while the words say "happy to be here," the rest of the person is sending a very different message. the signals are confusing, and the audience will always go with the visual signals over the verbal ones. They'll say to themselves unconsiously "He's telling me he's happy to be here, but he's really not. Therefore, he's either uncomfortable or liar, or both." The speakers was the message and the message was negative.
Well i still have so many part of this book to share. But consider it will be boring to read so many long paragraphs for hours, i decided to write it in some posts. This is the first chapter of my sharing. The next chapter about crutial thing which is "POOR RECEPTION" is will be posted very soon after this. So hopefully you guys enjoy this. Before i end this post, let's summarize this chapter. "The message is not the words that you say but the message is the speakers who say the words. We are still need prepare what will we say but we also need to prepare ourselves as the communicator. YOU ARE THE MESSAGE!" Yep, thats conclusion from me, you are free to sum up this by yourself. i wish this post is usefull for you. Learning a little is better than not at all.
Have a wonderful Thursday everybody!
GBU!
Cheers,
Ketty Tressianah
#1 : YOU ARE THE MESSAGE
The Good News
Now that I've told you what your goal should be, let me give you the good news. You can become as good as some of the people you admire on TV. And, assessing your skills can be fun, because it helps you to know yourself better. It also improves your relationships with the people around you. In short, it helps you get what you want.
One important note : you can't rely on other people to change themselves to accommodate you. That's a strategy--with your composite message. If there is a misunderstanding between the communicator (you) and the "communicatee" (your audience), it's the communicator's fault. This requires that you take complete responsibility for the flow of communications, wether you're speaking or listening. This is good news, because it empowers you to be, in effect, in charge, of every communications situation you're in. You can change the mood and the flow of the communications exchange.
Hopeless?
Bob Hope taught me that lesson when i was young 23-year-old asociate producer of "The Mike Douglas Show." I unexpectedly met Hope when he was on a media tour to promote his book "I Owe Russia Twelve Hundred Dollars." I say unexpectedly because Hope was passing through Cleveland, Ohio, where our then-local shiw was produced, when his publicist suddenly called us to say that the great comedian would appear on your program. In the sort of chance that can make or break young person's career, all the producers senior to me were either ill or out of town on business when we got the chance to have Bob Hope as our star guest. I was so inexperienced that I thought that management would cancel the show rather than let me take charge, but they gambled on me.
Hope arrived at the front door of the television station with a large entourage of public relations people, local friends, and hangers-on. I was pretty intimidated. I knew Bob Hope's appearance could be the critical showpiece performance to help catapult "The Mike Douglas Show" into national syndication. As I met Hope, I mumbled nearly incoherently in trying to explain the show to him. Many of the people hanging around Hope were rolling their eyes as if to say, "Who is this kid and what are we doing here?"
I was too scared to say so, but I really wanted Hope to stay for our entire 90-minute show and sing, dance, and joke around. He wanted to plug his book and leave in five minutes. In the middle of my stammering, Hope grabbed my shoulders and steered me away from the others through a doorway into the scenery shop of the television station. Suddenly Bob Hope and I were alone.
He looked at me and said, "Kid, I know nothing about your show. I've never been on it and I don't know what you expect me to do. It's very important for you to speak up and tell people exactly what you want. I'm a big enough star to refuse whatever you request, if I decide to. But if I don't even know what you want, there's no way I can give it to you. Now tell a little bit about the program and the host, when I'm on, where I enter, and what's expected of me."
I realized in a flash that I had one chance and had better go for it. I admitted to Hope that I was not the producer but that an awful lot depended on his staying for the entire program, to entertain as well as to plug his book.
He started to laugh and said, "The network is paying me a hundred thousand dollars to do that." He patted me on the shoulder and said "Okay, now that I know what you want, I'll let you know what I'll do later. Let's see how it goes. In the meantime, just tell me when and where I go on."
As it turned out, Bob Hope stayed for the entire show. Once he was in front of the audience his natural performer instincts took over. He enjoyed Mike, they sang a duet, Bob danced and joked with the audience. his command performance undoubtedly helped "The Mike Douglas Show" later to be sold into national syndication.
After the show, as he was leaving, he saw me and said, "How'd I do, kid?"
"You were great, Mr. Hope."
He turned and pointed at me, "Next time, speak up." He smiled and left.
I never forgot that lesson--and I've never been afraid to speak to anyone else since then. It's your responsibility--not your listener's--to insure that your message gets through, and if you don't speak up, people can't help you get what you want.
Let me demonstrate with one simple example. If you say to me, "I'll never lie to you," but you're looking at the floor when you say it, I could doubt that message or at least wonder, "Why doesn't he look at me when he says that? maybe he's not telling the truth."
On the other hand, if you take charge and look me in the eye, the statement becomes not only believable but also reassuring, strong, and positive.
Happy To Be Here
The words you choose to speak are important, but they're just part of your message. However, many people think that their words are the whole message. Corporate executives are famous for this. They often get up and send all sorts of weird signals to their audience. My favorite is, "Ladies and gentleman, I'm very happy to be here." But they're looking at their shoes as they say it. They have no enthusiasm whatsoever. They look either angry, frightened, or depressed about being there.
In fact, they're often only reading these words. So, while the words say "happy to be here," the rest of the person is sending a very different message. the signals are confusing, and the audience will always go with the visual signals over the verbal ones. They'll say to themselves unconsiously "He's telling me he's happy to be here, but he's really not. Therefore, he's either uncomfortable or liar, or both." The speakers was the message and the message was negative.
Well i still have so many part of this book to share. But consider it will be boring to read so many long paragraphs for hours, i decided to write it in some posts. This is the first chapter of my sharing. The next chapter about crutial thing which is "POOR RECEPTION" is will be posted very soon after this. So hopefully you guys enjoy this. Before i end this post, let's summarize this chapter. "The message is not the words that you say but the message is the speakers who say the words. We are still need prepare what will we say but we also need to prepare ourselves as the communicator. YOU ARE THE MESSAGE!" Yep, thats conclusion from me, you are free to sum up this by yourself. i wish this post is usefull for you. Learning a little is better than not at all.
Have a wonderful Thursday everybody!
GBU!
Cheers,
Ketty Tressianah
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