15th oct 09 - day 3. it's over

it's over.

syg... i'm so sorry. sorry that i love u so much.

sorry that... it was hard 4 me to stop loving u.

it's over. around 745am - 845am.

the moment i saw him, i keep on crying. cry,and cry, and cry.

i can't say a word. it's hard. truly hard, when, i've to let u go.

and pretending that i've no feelings at all, when i love u so.

u took my hand & looked into my eyes. god. i can't even look at u.

it's over. u looked at me. and wait 4 me to say,what is wrong.

cuz i keep on crying bout 10min non stop, without a word.

u look so uncomfortable, seeing me like that. u keep asking y.

but i just can't say it + i don't know how. and. i know. i have no choice.

cuz sooner or later, i've to leave u. i have to.

it's over. when i finally look into ur eyes and said,

"awk taw sy syg awk sgt3 kan? tp... tp... sy terpaksa tinggalkan awk"

dang~ that's it. and i gave u a few stupid reason. that, we've 2 think bout the future.

i just can't really tell u the main reason(s). i just... can't. it only make me feel worse.

u keep quiet, and hide ur face. i keep on crying... non stop. i can see...

that u're really disappointed. i can see it clearly. but trust me, i have to.

it's over. u try to pretend that everything is ok. u asked me to eat my breakfast.

but ... then, i stopped cry, and, god, awk pasang lagu2 kte 2 nape? huu~

that was the moment i saw u cry. cry and cry. it was... unexpected.

i never saw u cry, cuz of me. and... it make me... WORST. i cry, again.

i hate to see u cry. it make me felt really bad. like really3.

when i told u that, seeing u happy, make me happy, i really mean it.

it's over. we had a very few conversation. what i remembered the most,

"camne awk blh tergamak pk nak tinggalkan sy?" syg. i really, had to.

"blh awk layan sy mcm kekasih buat kali terakhir?" wuwuwuwu T___T

and then, we both stopped crying. just keep quiet and, tried to be cool.

u left around 5pm... and, i keep on crying. again. last thing i said was...

"sy syg awk sgt3... ingt tuh. ingt awk janji kene happy2..."

it's over. iellyas fietrie amerudin. nak taw camne sygnye sy dkt awk?

sy syg 1st love pun mcm gileee dlu. org kate, syg dkt 1st love tuh x terbanding kan?

hurmmm... sy syg awk berjuta kali lebeyh dr 1st love. that's y i said.

only god knows how. yes. it's only god know's how.

awk ttp kambink + ttm sy.

it's over. dear heart... i'm so sorry.

that u're fragile again. u're turning into pieces again. sorry...

that i'm killing u. but, think wisely. future. fmly. friends.

100% single. again.

i love u.

15th oct 2009.

it's finally ended here.