it's not easy

finally, i've finished his work, at 925pm sharp. erm...sakit pinggang amat sgt.
bgn je dr tdow, terus buat. like the whole day should i say? finally. tamat. kot?
owh tataw la buat ape. keje die...just tlg buat. erm. proses2 nye?

1. check his mail - and ade 1 email nih, dlm tuh ade 61 files.
2. downloaded all the 61 files into my lappy. [took me 1 hour]
   
3. each file, ade 13 id & password = 61 x 13 = 793 id & password
   
4. each id & password, perlu di log-in dkt one website nih...
5. and check total number of.. idk?
   
6. and write it down in a A4 paper.
   
7. so...total, 793 id & password, utk bnde yg same... diulang2.
8. and each 13 id & password, i took about 10 minutes.
9. so... 61 files x 10 minutes = 610 minutes.
   
10. 610 minutes + 1 hour [downloaded everything] = 670 minutes
11. 670 minutes = 11 hours, 10 minutes. ahah...okay~~~

no wonder sakit pinggang amat sgt & almost cry cuz i'm tooooo tired~! T_T

ok. nih x mandi mlm lg. x dinner lg. and... muka x yah ckp da same cam... singa?
haha... owh zoo. rindu. ahah~ tibeee. cam la ade LOLA dlm tuh. haha XD
gile leteyhhh... wuuu. no wonder org kerja dkt office sume blk tdow mati~
owh. act td, bile semua kerja ni da settle. terus msg die. ckp kerja da siap.
well, he called. and the first thing he said... " hye syg" in a very, soft way.
wuuu~ i'm sad to hear that. yuppp. he's at the gym. idk if we'll meet tonight.
just to have a dinner, eh, supper kot nnt? ni da 949pm. later~ dunno yet.

hurm. mama x de. dkt UPSI. esok baru blk. kak sally, ade. nak tdow da kot?
owh, cik [nenek] ade lg jgk. jap lg auntie ambik kot otw die blk dr kerja...
kema ade jgk. pon tdow mati pas blk dr kerja~ ahah. tp mlm ni...die kuar.
tgk late night movie dgn kwn2 office. die ajak. tp. leteyh... waaaa -_-
and yar, abah ade call time tgh buat kerja ptg td, if i'm not mistaken.
abah ckp2 biase, n suddenly abah asked me bout him wuuu~~~
sdeyh blk. almost cry again, but i didn't. he asked me what happened.
and u know, i just wanna talk bout it anymore. i'm trying, to let him go.

abah ade ckp td...
"aqilah. abah ni lelaki jgk. die x komited. x boleh berharap dkt die. aqilah kan bebas nak berkwn dgn sesiapa. setahu abah anak abah ni ade ikot perangai abah, tahu batas2 berkwn dgn org2 tertentu. die x matang lg. hurm...die tak tahu abah n mama jage aqilah mcm mane. kasih syg tak terbelah bahgi, jd die x blh mcm tu. aqilah nak hidup bertahun2 dgn die nnt? boleh? nnt kalau la berkahwin, lg sensitif. aqilah sanggup terus mcm ni? kdg happy tp hati tersiksa?" and so on...

mama pon ckp, lg...
"dia x seswai utk aqilah kalau mcm ni gayanye. bkn senang kte nak ubah org. lebeyh2 lg semua da nak dewasa ni. da terlalu lama perangai die yg x elok tu dlm diri dia. bkn senang nak ubah org,aqilah... aqilah jgn syg org sbb kesian dkt org. dia mmg da tak boleh berubah. sepatutnya dia jaga aqilah. ni terbalik. aqilah duk pk kesian dkt die kalau aqilah x de, tp die kesian dkt aqilah x? sudahlah. muda lg... jgn ditunggu lg sampai nnt da terlambat. mmg mama taw die baik, tp die x matang lg syg. tlg, jgn rapat dah dgn die, lepaskan die. aqilah dah cuba utk ubah die, die x berubah."

"dulu aqilah pernah ckp, nak tunggu 6 bulan je. 2 bulan lg genap 6 bulan time tu. tp, tgk2 da 9 bulan. aqilah ckp nak tnggu setahun? jgn tunggu. aqilah nak tunggu ape lg? die x komited... sedangkan kwn2 rapat die pon yg dah lame kenal die pon nasihatkan aqilah tinggalkan die, mcm mane tu? mmglah aqilah nmpk die syg, dia ambil berat jgk. tp...aqilah fhm x, die lepas laku? maksudnya die ikot suka hati die. time die rindu, die rindu la. time die sebok, die sebok la. aqilah. tlg, ikot kata hati. dan mmgla aqilah syg die. tp itu semua sbb aqilah kesian dkt die n akhirnya berkumpul jd syg. plz aqilah, die x seswai utk anak mama..."

and entah ape lg mama n abah ckp... so... syg. kalo awk bace nih.
sy terpakse lepaskan awk slow2 da. tp kte kan tetap kwn, just x rapat.
ahah... sy tataw awk bace ke x nih. kalo awk tibe2 bace, mesti kte gadow lg.
but, syg... sy mmg syg awk sgt3. sy taw awk pon syg. sy nmpk itu.
tp... awk. betol... sy bknnya x nak, tp sy da x mampu... thats the right word~!
sy da x mampu. serious, sy risawwww sgt3~!!! dgn awk ble sy pergi...
sape nak jage awk? sape nak bebel dkt awk utk tegur bnde salah?
awk lurus even awk kdng2 berlagak pandai taw? ahah. syg3...
sape nak nasihat awk? erm. entahlah... sy tkot awk je yg x nak kwn dgn sy da.
kalo kte kwn lg... sy akan terus ade utk awk... cuma. mungkin x serapat dlu.

ermmm... sy tgh cari mase yg seswai. utk lepaskan awk. kot?
sy tataw bile. sy tataw mcm mane. sbb kan... kte ok je. mmg la gadow.
tp pastuh ok cuz sy tak reti nak merajuk lame2. x reti marah awk lame2.
then kalo tibe2 sy ckp sy pergi... x ke mcm kejam amat sgt. hurm...
entahlah. tgk keadaan nnt. kali ni...sy btol2. terpaksa...
sy harap nnt, tibe masenye...awk berubah jd lebeyh matang.


p/s; leteyh amat. so...nak mandi dulu~! esok kot. kot.
i'll tell the details of what happened yesterday. and this is.
what happened n what do i feel 4 now...