it keeps me going.

assalamualaikum. how has 2011 been treating u so far? I have to confess, i was crying on 1st January 2011. and now i'm crying again today, all day long. I wonder, WHAT A YEAR? WHAT's COMING NEXT?

but then i saw this on my dearie Shafinaz Maruai FB.

"Dont think of the things you didnt get after praying, think of the countless blessings God gave you without asking and He never stops giving."

I remind myself, Sabar Aqilah. Sabar. This is only a small kick-start of ur life. As most of ur people knows, I managed to involve in internet business. Yar, a small one, and I decided to created RAINBOW SHAWLS by last April 2010. It went well, as my friends & relatives as a loyal customer, and all those support from mama abah, namin, BFF and so on.

As time passed by, I met more and more customer including those from neighborhood countries such as Singapore & Indonesia. Well, it's true --- JAUH PERJALANAN, LUAS PEMANDANGAN. You will never believe how weird, variety people could be, well from the inner side that i am focusing about.

Customer is always right. That is true. They have their rights to make choice, to talk and to complain. But the thing is... Did you ever remind urself, we're human too, with feelings. It hurt me sometime, but I keep it cool, remind myself that i am educated enough to use my mind rationally, not to be emotional.

As I have spent almost a year developing Rainbow Shawls, i can't imagine how a successful entrepreneur has step up on their way of success. it must been really hard. There is no point of being rich from what you have gain from your family, esp your father and mother. somehow they will die, they will leave you, and if you did not know how to spend & gain money, it is useless.

In certain point of view, i am proud to be Malaysian. my 1st reason would be - no earthquake, no bad weather or natural disaster, and most of us is free to follow our own religion. but then, these past few years, we're no longer that peaceful country anymore. People start to kill, rape, being heartless. And the other thing which I totally hate is PhD. --- perasaan hasrat dengki.

can't we just keep supporting each other? think before u talk. but owh, if only everyone could ever think the way i do...

Yesterday, i cried because of 1 customer. yes only 1, but all these while, i keep on being patient and suddenly it all burst out yesterday. yar i know, it is a normal process when u step into this world, but sometimes i just lost my positive spirit and it all burst out like a volcano waiting for the right time to explode. T___T

and this morning, when i woke up, I logged in into my Rainbow Shawls FB, and guess what? I've been blocked by FB administration. which will only happened if there's anyone out there reported / blocked me. I can do nothing, except logging in, and see this white window with nothing, except verification form.They might reported me as using a fake profile or disturbing / abusing people. I did try to do the best i can, but it worth nothing.

Nothing except i've just lost my 3500 friends & customers there, and they don't even have any idea that I could not access to that FB account anymore. blog keeps going, but it ain't the same.

I asked myself... "I treat my customer very well, i tolerate, i even treat them just the same as i did to my friends. I manged to get some customers, i spent almost all of my time in front of the lappy, updating all those shawls, packaging all those parcel, asking some help from abah to post all those stuff, and mama to accompany me to get those stocks. It went smoothly, under control, u might met some people that think you are naive, but i do not forget, there are a lot of them who appreciate me and trust me and they are now my loyal customer. I keep it simple, not too famous, but still... why is this happening to me?"

I thank Allah for every single cent I earned. And i'm ashamed of myself for not being a good muslimah. When you do realize every great thing comes from Allah, you would be like... "Alhamdulilah, bersyukur sangat-sangat, walaupun kadang aku selalu lalai" It's like, He's the one who will always love you, no matter how selfish you are. Don't u just feel guilty and superrrr thankful for being lucky?

And now, i cried the whole day. lying in my bed, on the floor, wondering, did I ever hurt anyone while seeking for REZEKI HALAL. I did this just to gain some extra money, to be more independent, to make my mum and dad proud of having a single child as i am. I did this because i want too, i love too, but it seems like someone out there is feeling uncomfortable with me around. hurm...

everything happened for a reason. i believe it to be that way. and it keeps me going.