love yourself more.

we're human. we're being tested. some people is very proud to be himself/herself. and some just don't. i wanna talk about someone who hate to be herself. someone who could only see the good in others, and the ugliness of herself. someone who should know better, how to be thankful.

'i hate myself for everything i am'

i hate that i'm stupid. i used to be wiser than this, but i'm now worse.

i hate to see those who were no as smart as i used to be, is moving forward, than what i am now.

i hate it the fact that my english is sucksss. i really am very useless.

i hate it that i can't speak english fluently and it makes me feel as i am such a loser.

i hate that i'm fat, but i still can't resist all those wonderful foods, i just love them.

i hate myself everytime i look at the mirror. i hate when people said 'you're beautiful',

cuz i am not. i am just not, and will never be. never never never.

i hate myself when i look at all those beautiful blogger, fashionista, and know, i will never be like one.

i hate myself that i often to be rude, and moody towards everyone who loves me.

in fact, there are the one who always push me up, to stand on my own. see, jerk i am.

i hate that i'm sorry for myself, for my family, for my loves one, for my friends, for everyone who believes in me. i hate that the fact i am not that good, as they were saying out loud, about me.

i hate myself for hating myself. i hate it that i'm a person with very low self esteem.

i hate that i'm no good. zero knowledge, zero beauty, zero attitude.

*******************

"you have to believe that rezeki tu ada kat mana2. sebab tu la budak2 lebih rendah dari you dekat sekolah dulu pun boleh buat degree. I cuma boleh advice you utk sabar. Kalau niat you baik nak tuntut ilmu Allah, nak senangkan mama abah, insya Allah tuhan akan tolong. percaya pada tuhan, jgn pernah sangsi atau teragak dengan janji Dia. Kesusahan setiap org tu lain-lain. Orang lain mungkin senang dpt belajar jauh2 la konon tp satu apa x dapat, menghabiskan duit rakyat. Ada orang susah-susah nak belajar berlari sana sini cari itu ini. Bila kerja duduk dalam air cond, naik merc. Both situation for those both people adalah ujian. In fact semua ujian. Kadang2 dalam susah2 tu tuhan bagi ilham. Kalau tak boleh ikut jalan ni, apa kata ikut jalan lagi satu. Jalan menuju nikmat Allah tu banyak. Semua baik tapi kadang-kadang ada yang lebih baik untuk kita."

"tak ada sesiapa yang tahu kehendak kita selain Allah. Kadang kita sendiri pon tak tahu apa kita nak, apatah lagi apa yang terbaik untuk kita. Be strong! Jangan sedih-sedih. Hidup ni memang penat tapi ini tanggungjawab. Tugas kita besar dekat bumi Allah ni. Memang kena telan je semua."

"Pasal speaking tu, it comes with practice and confident. Sebab kalau nak ikutkan, english you power dari I - vocab, grammar semua. just kena more practice & confident"

"I am sorry if my words upset you. My intention was good. I want you to more appreciate yourself & sangat setuju cakap mama dekat status FB -berhenti mengagumi & memuja kelebihan org lain, belajar terima & perbaiki diri sendiri. pandang yang indah & baik pada org lain. yang buruk akan keluar sendiri dek perbuatan mereka sendiri, nanti. I really love you and I want you to love yourself. Kadang-kadang I pon failed jugak untuk faham kenapa lah banyak sangat kurang diri ini tapi lama-lama kita akan belajar untuk terima kekurangan diri sendiri."

"I sangat-sangat kagum dengan you, boleh je terima kekurangan orang lain. Tapi macam mama you selalu advice, you need to love yourself ahead before aothers. Take time & love yourself. Jangan simpan apa-apa dalam hati. let it out, kalau tak jadi macam gunung berapi"

*****************

if others could be proud of who you are,

learn to appreciate yourself more.